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A reminder for Lady China

Dewm

Active Members
#21
*puts on his "Kiss the Evil cook's ass" apron and starts cooking a turkey* With all the L-tryptophan in this thing, Cyren is sure to fall asleep quickly. *Proceeds to sharpen the axe* I like a woman that is quick, she knows what she wants and *where* she wants it :p I hope we don't make the java version of Yserbius the only version, I wouldn't get any work done :D God knows this forum is killing my productivity :p
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#23
"Woo hoo! Dinner! Well..don't ask about falling asleep. Apparently I do it. Stuff happens. Turkey is fine, though."

Stuffing!

I'll make stuffing!

She hums and starts to help make dinner. "I'm sure I don't know what you gentlemen mean. Slo, grab something good to drink, I never know which ale is good to serve, never touch the stuff." She doesn't mention mead.

She rings a bell to be heard across the lands. "Dinner! Questionably prepared meal and company of ill repute, come and get it!"
 

Dewm

Active Members
#24
Questionably prepared?? Ah, but I am the best chef in the land. Of all the things and people I've killed over the years, I at least know how to cook them up. I even make a mean sausage with the intestine! :twisted: *slides the bottle of iodine away :twisted: * Everything I make is perfectly harmless and utterly delicious. Please dig in :) Now I know I drop that old merc tooth around here somewhere, I had it in my hand when I was making the stuffing and... *notices Cyren's signs of choking* Ah that’s it! They will want this back... *runs over to Cyren with his axe high in the air* I’ll save you :twisted: :twisted:

BTW, Cyren, I think we're bringing Sword Swamp back into the most active forum :wink:
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#25
Choking. Perfect. Bloody hell. This is so embarrassing.

Not breathing not pleasant, on this we're clear.

She figures she'll hold still for the axe, it's better than choking to death. The nice people will just drag her back here like they do when she does something stupid in the volcano.

Not really enough time to explain the Heimlich maneuver to someone charging you with an axe.
 

Dewm

Active Members
#26
Probably not worth explaining to someone as dumb as me too :) Heimlich, this that like a monkey wrench, or that thing a girl has :twisted: ?? I like to use my axe, makes me feel more manly :twisted:
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#27
She remembers real quick that Heimlich can be performed on yourself, so she balls up her fists and gives it a go.

Wheeeee! There it goes. Right into the path of Dewm's ongoing strike. She steps out of the way really quickly and says "Sorry! Changed my mind!"
 

Dewm

Active Members
#28
*takes a couple more swings at Cyren* I don't think you got it all out, now just sit back... :twisted: Oh please let the 'cano open soon, I got this strong taste for blood. Maybe just a bite, or two Cyren??? :twisted: :twisted:
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#29
*starts thwapping Dewm with a towel* No! No! BAD evil bastard. BAD evil bastard!

Axe versus towel rarely goes well. Good thing she's nimble.
 

LadyChina

Inactive Members
#30
*Hangs a Merc banner above the fireplace, ignoring Dwem chasing after Cyren with an axe, while she chased back with a towel. Memories. How long had it been since her Merc had walked the blood darkened wood of the Sword Swamp tavern? How long since he had danced upon a table top, for her and only her. How long since he'd pulled her behind the bar for a little slap and tickle (more slap than tickle, she had her affinities)?

*sighing*

"Kattah, Dexbramah, its time for a torch song."

*the bats, quickly changed course, stopping their descent from the rafters towards her outstretched hands to a direct line for the open window.* "STOP IMMEDIATELY, YOU VILE BEASTS! *regaining their obediance, they stopped flying and fell in a heap to the ground, crawling now to their Mistress.*

"Now, lets just pull the piano out from the back room, and dust off this snare drum. Kattah you know the song I want you to play, Dex, you just soft snare along - in 4/4 time PLEASE (Dex was known for his love of jazz and the solo chaotic rift)."

*the piano arranged, Kattah pulled on dark sunglasses, while Dex lit a swamp weed cigerette. Lighting the torches around the Tavern completed the flickering smoke filled atmosphere needed for a really good heartbreak session. Laying an arm along the top of the piano, her head rested like a broken flower on the stem of her arm.*

*bluesy notes filled the tavern, soft snare counter point to the snap of Cyren's towel, and Dewm's "SON OF A BITCH, THAT WAS MY JEWEL BAG!"

Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you'd leave me for some adventure - new.

Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wond'ring what in the world did I do?
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying

And I'm crazy for loving you
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you.
 

Puppy

Message for Upgrade
#31
<puppy licks his chops, and runs from the kitchen>


howling! HOWLING! A human lady is HOWLING! Puppy knows how to howl too!

<plopping down next to the bat at the piano, puppy throws back his furry head, ears flopping and HOWLS with the lady.>

FUN! GREEEEEAAAAAAT Fun! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#32
Cyren stops short to listen and Dewm collides with her at the beginning of the song. There's a scuffle, but she says "Shhhhh."

She listens and cheers wildly when the song is over. "Bravissima!"

She looks down at her thigh and there's blood seeping through a huge gash in her skirt and unfortunately, leg as well. So THAT was what the scuffle was. Music truly hath power to soothe the savage...well, it was wonderful, anyway.

"Anyone have a heal potion?"
 

Dewm

Active Members
#33
*Quickly starts playing in the river of Cyren's blood like a kid in a swimming pool* Salty, I figured you more for a strong bitter blood Cyren, not this salty stuff! Maybe the other leg would taste better *quickly fumbles for his axe, thoughts of chopping the little dog's head off fills his mind :twisted: , but he is able to concentrate on the main objective, Cyren's blood* :twisted:
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#34
*Swats at Dewm* "Oh, man, that's gross."

She suddenly does a foreign bit of channeling and it sounds British and vaguely transvestite, the mighty Eddie Izzard possesses her. "Tastes of chicken, sir."

"Bloody hell, I've got to cut down on the possession."

She sighs a deep breath and looks at Dewm disapprovingly. "You're absolutely no help."

She drags herself to the bar and reaches behind it, yanking back a potion. "No, don't mind me, I'll get it myself"

She takes glass and fills it with blood with one hand and quaffs the potion with the other.

She hands the glass to Dewm. "At least use utensils. We're civilized here. Okay, WE'RE not, but I am. Eww."
 

Cyren

Inactive Members
#36
Cyren wrinkles her nose "That is just nasty. I thought it sort of lost its appeal once it wasn't attached to a beating heart and pulse and all that. Isn't that like vampiric slumming?"
 
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