*Inside a dank and dimly lit dungeon, Liz'rd, Bones, Bob and Glindy lay inside a prison cell, starting to recover from their long night of drinking. They lay upon the hard cold stone floor looking out through bars into a dark hall. Glindy gets up after a while and throws some sparkly colored dust all over the cell*
[Glindy] "there, there, there. wonderful, see? Its now pretty and cozy too"
[Liz'rd] "Sssssit down crazzzzy witcccccch"
[Glindy] "No no, you see I'm a good witch, cheery not crazy! I must make things better, make them right"
[Liz'rd] "ssssstart by taking a sssssssssseat"
[Glindy] "You! You, wicked creature, are RUDE.. And I dont know why you're here in Oz. But things will work out right they will, the wizard will see to that!"
[Bones] "Why must you insist you're a good witch. I grow annoyed at that phrase. You have yet to cast any spells, b...witch. And right now would be a quite appropriate time for one."
[Glindy] "Huh! You cut my wand in half, brutish creature!"
[Bones] "Looked to me like a toy stick with a star on. Use your hands to conjure instead, as the so called 'wicked' witch did"
[Glindy] "I.. I can't"
[Liz'rd] "Sssshe claimsssss sssshe'sss a GOOD witccccch, but sssseemssss sssshe'sss usssselesssss"
*Bones wipes Liz'rds spit off his cloak, and backs away from him*
[Bones] "Disgusting"
[Glindy] "Oh ohh this is not right. The story is all botched, I'm stuck with vile, rude creatures in the wickedest of witch's dungeons! And Dorothy, oh sweet Dorothy where are you"
*Bones spots Bob on the floor and nudges him*
[Bones] "Quite a night hey?"
*Liz'rd chuckles, looking at the zombie who happens to be wearing a red dress and a cowboy hat, with rope strung around wood pieces nailed into limbs that are pointing out in every direction from his torso and upper body*
[Liz'rd] "ssssuposssse we ssssshould have worked on him while ssssssssober? hehehe"
*Bob gives them both a cranky look, then turns and stares at a wall*
[Bones] "Worry not, good friend. We will fix you up properly next time. I'm not quite sure how to get your limbs functioning though"
*The creak of a heavy door swinging on rusty hinges breaks the chatter, and a set of footsteps follows behind it. The green witch walks down the corridor of jail cells and stops in front of the group*
[Elphy] "ahahahaha, you my pretties were so easy to catch! And even you Glindy the 'GOOD'!"
[Glindy] "You won't get away with this, the wizard will come for us!"
[Elphy] "Have you not forgotten, lovely... charming...SICKENINGLY graceful Glindy? He is nothing but tricks and foolery, just the same as you! A sham, a lie. ahahahahaa"
[Glindy] "Let us OUT, you wicked thing!"
[Elphy] "Well well well, let me think here. You and these sick creatures kill my sister, then desecrate her remains, and steal the magic shoes I made for her, and you expect me to let you go unpunished?!? Why yes, yes I shall.. I shall set you all free.. INTO A BOILING PIT OF LAVA,.YOU SICK @#$J @#$~#! FREAKS!!"
[Glindy] "You bi...uh. witch! Humph! How dare you talk to me like that"
[Elphy] "ahaha Glindy the GOOD glindy the sweet, soon to be Glindy the overcooked MEAT!"
*Glindy's jaw drops, then she gives Elphy a look of contempt. Liz'rd chuckles*
[Liz'rd] "you go girl hehehe"
[Elphy] "shut your trap foul beast, you too will be cooked all the same"
[Liz'rd] "jussssssst try it"
*the witch takes out her wand and holds it threateningly*
[Bones] "HOLD IT! Listen.. Elphy.. the 'wicked'. This sister of yours, we meant her no harm. The legs.. well, think of them as a charitable contribution.. *gestures towards the malformed zombie on the floor*. She had no further use of them, and Bob was in need of a pair. So there you have it. A graceful gesture of good will." *he smiles the best a skeleton can smile*
Extreme Makeover - BobZombie edition - part TWO:
FrankenBOB!!
[Elphy] *disgusted by Bones remarks* "Aaarghhh, sickening cruel beasts!!" *she twirls her arms then strikes out with her wand. A bolt of fierce blue and white lightning leaps forward towards Bones, but the skeleton dodges quickly, and the jagged bolt instead strikes poor Bob with its full force. The zombie convulses as the electric current pulses through his body and surges through all his limbs. The witch retracts the wand and makes a most wicked smile*
[Elphy] "Like a rag doll ahahahaa. Most amusing. Tell me now, what reason would you have to keep this.. PET.. of yours alive"
[Bones] "All creatures have the right to live, do they not."
[Elphy] "My sister had a right! You took that away!! And for what.. a rotting chunk of meat with no..."
*she stops talking as Bob begins to move. The limbs so carelessly attached to his body have now become fused to his shoulders and waist, and strangely, control of these arms and legs has become his own. He stumbles up to his feet, holding himself up with two.. no, three arms.. and looks around, while sparks still jump randomly from the metal nails protruding from his flesh*
[Bob] "'allo mate, g'day m'lady, cherio good chap. Was ist los, Que pasaaaaa!!!"
*The group looks at him in shock*
[Bones] "Bob, you can speak!?"
[Bob] "Sie senor, konichiwa!"
*The group watches dumbfounded*
[Bob] "sweet mother of pearl, what a beautiful woman!" *he stumbles towards Glindy, still learning how to walk on these new legs, one of which is turned in the opposite direction* "helloo sweet cheeks, what say you and me play a game of spank the monk.." *just then another nail in his skin sparks blue and white for a second, and then fades out with a yellow sizzle. He begins speaking another language* "je ta'ime, mi amore.."
[Bones] "Hmm.. Electricity! That's what was missing!"
[Liz'rd] "missssing, massster?"
[Bones] "Don't you rememer the tales?! The beast composed of dead body parts who was subjected to a jolt of lightning?! Look at Bob.. Why. he. .it..." *he raises his arms up in the air and exclaims* ITTSSS ALLLLLIIIIIIVVVVEEEE!!!!"
[Liz'rd] "hrm.. bossss you've losssst me"
[Bones] "I now rechristen him FrankenBob!!"
[Elphy] "Enough! This grows more twisted by the minute. Glindy, where's this Dorothy girl, why did she not come.. who are these creatures!?"
*just then a metal bucket slams into the back of Elphy's head and knocks her to the ground. Boo materializes behind her and smiles at the crew.*
[Boo] "Miss me? No noo.. dont get all emotional, you know how I get when you guys gush over me.."
[Bones] "Ha-HAH! Good to see you Bob. Now get us out of here, will ya."
[Bob] "Guten tag herr Boo"
*Boo stares blankly at the zombie who just greeted him in a foreign language*
[Bones] "Boo! Get us out!"
[Boo] "uh.. right.. say did he just say something in German?"
[Liz'rd] "bosss ssssayssss he'ssss now FrankenBob"
[Boo] "riiight. Well you must explain this to me.. but first... for my next trick..!!"
*Boo disappears and the sound of his footsteps running down the hall, followed by footsteps running back are heard. A ring full of keys comes floating to the cell the group is trapped in and unlocks the door*
[Boo] *materializing again* "Ta-DA! thank you, thank you.. please, no applause.."
*Bones opens the cell then drags the green witch and pulls her inside, leaning her against a wall. He then grabs the keys and exits the cell with Liz'rd and Bob. Glindy follows but is stopped at the entrance by Bones' skeletal hand*
[Glindy] "Oh but you must let me out!!"
[Bones] "I'm not so sure. How can you help us? If what the witch said is true, then you have no magic and are of no use to us"
[Glindy] "But I can get you out of here! I know who you need to talk to!!"
[Bones] "Fine. Just bother us no more with your mindless rhetoric and revolting good cheer"
[Glindy] "No more I swear!"
*the gate to the cell is closed and locked. Boo, noticing how parched the green witch looks, slides a bucket of water inside the cell, which unfortunately hits a stone and tips over. Him and the others then make their way quickly out of the dungeon. A few moments into their escape some screaming is heard from below and the faintest of cries follows the group up the stairs...' what a worllldd. what a wo...' *
*They find their way to the main floor and break up to explore the various rooms. Bones finds the broom in a closet and carries it out with him to the front of the castle. Glindy comes upon a crystal globe in one room and looks inside of it, a bright smile immediately washing over her face. Inside the ball she looks upon the image of a young girl - Dorothy.. who happens to be skipping about calling for her dog Toto in a strange land. Liz'rd and Bob wander the corridors together while involved in serious conversation.*
[Boo] "Well that's just silly. That's like introducing two friends. Hello, this is Frank, oh, and Bob!. No no that doesn't sound right at all. Bobenstein.. now THAT sounds good"
[Liz'rd] "ssstupid ghossst! Makessss no sssensse. Bob a sssstein? He'sssss no mug of ale"
*The two walk together out to the grand entrance of the castle where Bones is waiting*
[Boo] "Well I don't like FrankenBob, its just idioti...uh... hey massster!"
*Bones looks down at Boo condescendingly*
[Bones] "It's FrankenBob and thats what it will be called henceforth! Now, blast this broom I still don't know what makes it work!"
[Boo] "Oh.. oh I know sir! Just order it where to go! Elphy did that this morning and it spirited her away!"
[Bones] "hmm.. *he mounts the broom to test it out*.. to the cemetery!!"
*the broom whisks him out the door and off to the cemetery. He barks another command and is swiftly carried back inside the castle again*
[Bones] "Men, we finally have our ride!"
[Glindy] "Wait!!"
*the witch runs out to them and asks for their help with Dorothy*
[Bones] "Sorry, we have no need of your 'help' now"
[Glindy] "But look!" *she shows them the globe which still shows the small girl is running around. The volcano in the background is an all too familiar sight to them*
[Bones] "Ahh Yserbius.. foolish child! Its still dangerous there even in these days"
[Glindy] "Yuh what? That's not Oz! nor is it Kansas, oh dear.. things cant get much worse! Please please tell me, what ever is this place you speak of? I must know, I must! Things have to be made right! Tell me, for the little girl.. please"
[Bones] "We should have taken a right at that giant tree in the swamp, blast it. *sigh* This 'Yserbius' if you must know, is a volcano... a very dangerous volcano located in a land called Twinion, a town just.. well just South of this here happy witchland of yours"
[Glindy] "Please, before you go back to your home, fly me to see the Wizard! The wonderful wonderful wizard, oh, he shall know how to set things straight"
[Bones] *shaking his head* "IF you promise not to bother us ever again.. *sigh*.. I will take you there. But then I shall leave this dreaded land never to come back!"
[Glindy] "oh, wonderful! oh thank you, yes yes you really are doing the right thing, I was wrong about you, I was. Its such a pleasant thing to learn that looks are not all that matters" *she tosses her hair over her shoulder* "Good exists in even the most disgusting of creatures!"
[Liz'rd] "ssssssspeak for yourssssselff witccccch hehhe"
*Bob happily finds his way back to the others, sporting a goofy crooked smile*
[Bob] "Devo visitare la stanza da bagno"
[Boo] "ANOTHER language now!?"
[Liz'rd] "whatssss with the ccchangesssss??"
[Bones] *rubs jawbone in thought* "Its quite like he has a multiple personality disorder. A number of distinct personas that..." *he cuts off as a thought springs to his mind* "Hey Boo, just how many different heads did you extract grey matter from last night?"
[Boo] "Must have been at least thirty different people, sir. why do you as-... Ohhhh!" *slaps himself in the head*
[Liz'rd] *snickering* "you are who you eat hehehe"
[Bones] "Hah! Right... Apparently Bob is now a kaleidoscope of consciousness. An army of people in one, how unconventional!!"
[Bob] "yo big Vinny lez go and do off Fitziani, he's got sumthin comin to HIM tonight, heh!"
*Bob chuckles in his typical mindless zombie fashion, amused at his own changes. The witch Elphy had done more than just bring to life a compilation of human body parts attached to him, she had also brought this spectrum of personalities from last nights delicacies to life. Whether or not Bob had control over these characters inside of him would remain a mystery to others. But the irregular discharge of electricity from nails in his flesh seemed to influence these changes of personality*
*Bones and crew all somehow manage to mount the wicked witch's broom and reluctantly travel to the Embrio city to drop off annoying Glindy the 'GOOD' witch*
(to be continued.. in the final chapter of The wonderful Minions in Oz!)
[Glindy] "there, there, there. wonderful, see? Its now pretty and cozy too"
[Liz'rd] "Sssssit down crazzzzy witcccccch"
[Glindy] "No no, you see I'm a good witch, cheery not crazy! I must make things better, make them right"
[Liz'rd] "ssssstart by taking a sssssssssseat"
[Glindy] "You! You, wicked creature, are RUDE.. And I dont know why you're here in Oz. But things will work out right they will, the wizard will see to that!"
[Bones] "Why must you insist you're a good witch. I grow annoyed at that phrase. You have yet to cast any spells, b...witch. And right now would be a quite appropriate time for one."
[Glindy] "Huh! You cut my wand in half, brutish creature!"
[Bones] "Looked to me like a toy stick with a star on. Use your hands to conjure instead, as the so called 'wicked' witch did"
[Glindy] "I.. I can't"
[Liz'rd] "Sssshe claimsssss sssshe'sss a GOOD witccccch, but sssseemssss sssshe'sss usssselesssss"
*Bones wipes Liz'rds spit off his cloak, and backs away from him*
[Bones] "Disgusting"
[Glindy] "Oh ohh this is not right. The story is all botched, I'm stuck with vile, rude creatures in the wickedest of witch's dungeons! And Dorothy, oh sweet Dorothy where are you"
*Bones spots Bob on the floor and nudges him*
[Bones] "Quite a night hey?"
*Liz'rd chuckles, looking at the zombie who happens to be wearing a red dress and a cowboy hat, with rope strung around wood pieces nailed into limbs that are pointing out in every direction from his torso and upper body*
[Liz'rd] "ssssuposssse we ssssshould have worked on him while ssssssssober? hehehe"
*Bob gives them both a cranky look, then turns and stares at a wall*
[Bones] "Worry not, good friend. We will fix you up properly next time. I'm not quite sure how to get your limbs functioning though"
*The creak of a heavy door swinging on rusty hinges breaks the chatter, and a set of footsteps follows behind it. The green witch walks down the corridor of jail cells and stops in front of the group*
[Elphy] "ahahahaha, you my pretties were so easy to catch! And even you Glindy the 'GOOD'!"
[Glindy] "You won't get away with this, the wizard will come for us!"
[Elphy] "Have you not forgotten, lovely... charming...SICKENINGLY graceful Glindy? He is nothing but tricks and foolery, just the same as you! A sham, a lie. ahahahahaa"
[Glindy] "Let us OUT, you wicked thing!"
[Elphy] "Well well well, let me think here. You and these sick creatures kill my sister, then desecrate her remains, and steal the magic shoes I made for her, and you expect me to let you go unpunished?!? Why yes, yes I shall.. I shall set you all free.. INTO A BOILING PIT OF LAVA,.YOU SICK @#$J @#$~#! FREAKS!!"
[Glindy] "You bi...uh. witch! Humph! How dare you talk to me like that"
[Elphy] "ahaha Glindy the GOOD glindy the sweet, soon to be Glindy the overcooked MEAT!"
*Glindy's jaw drops, then she gives Elphy a look of contempt. Liz'rd chuckles*
[Liz'rd] "you go girl hehehe"
[Elphy] "shut your trap foul beast, you too will be cooked all the same"
[Liz'rd] "jussssssst try it"
*the witch takes out her wand and holds it threateningly*
[Bones] "HOLD IT! Listen.. Elphy.. the 'wicked'. This sister of yours, we meant her no harm. The legs.. well, think of them as a charitable contribution.. *gestures towards the malformed zombie on the floor*. She had no further use of them, and Bob was in need of a pair. So there you have it. A graceful gesture of good will." *he smiles the best a skeleton can smile*
Extreme Makeover - BobZombie edition - part TWO:
FrankenBOB!!
[Elphy] *disgusted by Bones remarks* "Aaarghhh, sickening cruel beasts!!" *she twirls her arms then strikes out with her wand. A bolt of fierce blue and white lightning leaps forward towards Bones, but the skeleton dodges quickly, and the jagged bolt instead strikes poor Bob with its full force. The zombie convulses as the electric current pulses through his body and surges through all his limbs. The witch retracts the wand and makes a most wicked smile*
[Elphy] "Like a rag doll ahahahaa. Most amusing. Tell me now, what reason would you have to keep this.. PET.. of yours alive"
[Bones] "All creatures have the right to live, do they not."
[Elphy] "My sister had a right! You took that away!! And for what.. a rotting chunk of meat with no..."
*she stops talking as Bob begins to move. The limbs so carelessly attached to his body have now become fused to his shoulders and waist, and strangely, control of these arms and legs has become his own. He stumbles up to his feet, holding himself up with two.. no, three arms.. and looks around, while sparks still jump randomly from the metal nails protruding from his flesh*
[Bob] "'allo mate, g'day m'lady, cherio good chap. Was ist los, Que pasaaaaa!!!"
*The group looks at him in shock*
[Bones] "Bob, you can speak!?"
[Bob] "Sie senor, konichiwa!"
*The group watches dumbfounded*
[Bob] "sweet mother of pearl, what a beautiful woman!" *he stumbles towards Glindy, still learning how to walk on these new legs, one of which is turned in the opposite direction* "helloo sweet cheeks, what say you and me play a game of spank the monk.." *just then another nail in his skin sparks blue and white for a second, and then fades out with a yellow sizzle. He begins speaking another language* "je ta'ime, mi amore.."
[Bones] "Hmm.. Electricity! That's what was missing!"
[Liz'rd] "missssing, massster?"
[Bones] "Don't you rememer the tales?! The beast composed of dead body parts who was subjected to a jolt of lightning?! Look at Bob.. Why. he. .it..." *he raises his arms up in the air and exclaims* ITTSSS ALLLLLIIIIIIVVVVEEEE!!!!"
[Liz'rd] "hrm.. bossss you've losssst me"
[Bones] "I now rechristen him FrankenBob!!"
[Elphy] "Enough! This grows more twisted by the minute. Glindy, where's this Dorothy girl, why did she not come.. who are these creatures!?"
*just then a metal bucket slams into the back of Elphy's head and knocks her to the ground. Boo materializes behind her and smiles at the crew.*
[Boo] "Miss me? No noo.. dont get all emotional, you know how I get when you guys gush over me.."
[Bones] "Ha-HAH! Good to see you Bob. Now get us out of here, will ya."
[Bob] "Guten tag herr Boo"
*Boo stares blankly at the zombie who just greeted him in a foreign language*
[Bones] "Boo! Get us out!"
[Boo] "uh.. right.. say did he just say something in German?"
[Liz'rd] "bosss ssssayssss he'ssss now FrankenBob"
[Boo] "riiight. Well you must explain this to me.. but first... for my next trick..!!"
*Boo disappears and the sound of his footsteps running down the hall, followed by footsteps running back are heard. A ring full of keys comes floating to the cell the group is trapped in and unlocks the door*
[Boo] *materializing again* "Ta-DA! thank you, thank you.. please, no applause.."
*Bones opens the cell then drags the green witch and pulls her inside, leaning her against a wall. He then grabs the keys and exits the cell with Liz'rd and Bob. Glindy follows but is stopped at the entrance by Bones' skeletal hand*
[Glindy] "Oh but you must let me out!!"
[Bones] "I'm not so sure. How can you help us? If what the witch said is true, then you have no magic and are of no use to us"
[Glindy] "But I can get you out of here! I know who you need to talk to!!"
[Bones] "Fine. Just bother us no more with your mindless rhetoric and revolting good cheer"
[Glindy] "No more I swear!"
*the gate to the cell is closed and locked. Boo, noticing how parched the green witch looks, slides a bucket of water inside the cell, which unfortunately hits a stone and tips over. Him and the others then make their way quickly out of the dungeon. A few moments into their escape some screaming is heard from below and the faintest of cries follows the group up the stairs...' what a worllldd. what a wo...' *
*They find their way to the main floor and break up to explore the various rooms. Bones finds the broom in a closet and carries it out with him to the front of the castle. Glindy comes upon a crystal globe in one room and looks inside of it, a bright smile immediately washing over her face. Inside the ball she looks upon the image of a young girl - Dorothy.. who happens to be skipping about calling for her dog Toto in a strange land. Liz'rd and Bob wander the corridors together while involved in serious conversation.*
[Boo] "Well that's just silly. That's like introducing two friends. Hello, this is Frank, oh, and Bob!. No no that doesn't sound right at all. Bobenstein.. now THAT sounds good"
[Liz'rd] "ssstupid ghossst! Makessss no sssensse. Bob a sssstein? He'sssss no mug of ale"
*The two walk together out to the grand entrance of the castle where Bones is waiting*
[Boo] "Well I don't like FrankenBob, its just idioti...uh... hey massster!"
*Bones looks down at Boo condescendingly*
[Bones] "It's FrankenBob and thats what it will be called henceforth! Now, blast this broom I still don't know what makes it work!"
[Boo] "Oh.. oh I know sir! Just order it where to go! Elphy did that this morning and it spirited her away!"
[Bones] "hmm.. *he mounts the broom to test it out*.. to the cemetery!!"
*the broom whisks him out the door and off to the cemetery. He barks another command and is swiftly carried back inside the castle again*
[Bones] "Men, we finally have our ride!"
[Glindy] "Wait!!"
*the witch runs out to them and asks for their help with Dorothy*
[Bones] "Sorry, we have no need of your 'help' now"
[Glindy] "But look!" *she shows them the globe which still shows the small girl is running around. The volcano in the background is an all too familiar sight to them*
[Bones] "Ahh Yserbius.. foolish child! Its still dangerous there even in these days"
[Glindy] "Yuh what? That's not Oz! nor is it Kansas, oh dear.. things cant get much worse! Please please tell me, what ever is this place you speak of? I must know, I must! Things have to be made right! Tell me, for the little girl.. please"
[Bones] "We should have taken a right at that giant tree in the swamp, blast it. *sigh* This 'Yserbius' if you must know, is a volcano... a very dangerous volcano located in a land called Twinion, a town just.. well just South of this here happy witchland of yours"
[Glindy] "Please, before you go back to your home, fly me to see the Wizard! The wonderful wonderful wizard, oh, he shall know how to set things straight"
[Bones] *shaking his head* "IF you promise not to bother us ever again.. *sigh*.. I will take you there. But then I shall leave this dreaded land never to come back!"
[Glindy] "oh, wonderful! oh thank you, yes yes you really are doing the right thing, I was wrong about you, I was. Its such a pleasant thing to learn that looks are not all that matters" *she tosses her hair over her shoulder* "Good exists in even the most disgusting of creatures!"
[Liz'rd] "ssssssspeak for yourssssselff witccccch hehhe"
*Bob happily finds his way back to the others, sporting a goofy crooked smile*
[Bob] "Devo visitare la stanza da bagno"
[Boo] "ANOTHER language now!?"
[Liz'rd] "whatssss with the ccchangesssss??"
[Bones] *rubs jawbone in thought* "Its quite like he has a multiple personality disorder. A number of distinct personas that..." *he cuts off as a thought springs to his mind* "Hey Boo, just how many different heads did you extract grey matter from last night?"
[Boo] "Must have been at least thirty different people, sir. why do you as-... Ohhhh!" *slaps himself in the head*
[Liz'rd] *snickering* "you are who you eat hehehe"
[Bones] "Hah! Right... Apparently Bob is now a kaleidoscope of consciousness. An army of people in one, how unconventional!!"
[Bob] "yo big Vinny lez go and do off Fitziani, he's got sumthin comin to HIM tonight, heh!"
*Bob chuckles in his typical mindless zombie fashion, amused at his own changes. The witch Elphy had done more than just bring to life a compilation of human body parts attached to him, she had also brought this spectrum of personalities from last nights delicacies to life. Whether or not Bob had control over these characters inside of him would remain a mystery to others. But the irregular discharge of electricity from nails in his flesh seemed to influence these changes of personality*
*Bones and crew all somehow manage to mount the wicked witch's broom and reluctantly travel to the Embrio city to drop off annoying Glindy the 'GOOD' witch*
(to be continued.. in the final chapter of The wonderful Minions in Oz!)