/SUN TZU/: So you've read my works, have you?
Cyren: Yes, they're very enlightening.
S: Have you read the new chapters?
C: NEW chapters? (grabbing copy)
S: Yes, the ones unearthed at Yueng Su Chan.
C: NO!
S: Well, would you like me to tell you about them?
C: YES!
S: Well, the 14th chapter goes something like this...
C: (awaiting enlightenment eagerly)
S: The 14th chapter says something about the wisdom of ensuring that the portapotties are downstream...
On the subject of unconventional marriages:
DE*HAVEN: I've planted...a seed...and after the Holiday of the birth of the Christian God, I shall ask you to become my wife.
Cyren: And this seed...does it now need a load of bullshit to fertilize it?
D: Life is a highway...
And there are stops along that highway, waystations.
The Tavern...is one of those waystations.
And you meet people, and then move on...
I believe that if you saw roses on the side of the road...and pulled over to smell their scent...
That you would become lost in them and never leave.
Marry me.
C: Can I ask a question?
D: Ask 2 or 3, I'm flexible.
C: Will you go to the ceremony?
D:
Can't my lawyer just go?
C: Proxy, huh? Send me the signed papers.
D: I would never miss our wedding ceremony.
C: I will marry you if you go to the ceremony.
Gwara: DE*HAVEN, certain vows will be expected of you.
DE*HAVEN: Uh oh.
D: I want to stay married to you.
C: I don't understand, what does that mean?
D: Ok, I'll explain.
I
want
to
stay
married
to you
C: Define married.
D: It means that you're free to dance with whomever you choose.
It means that you save the last dance for me. When the dance is over, it's me that you go home with.
C: Nice definition. I accept.
D: Damn. I hate it when they love you for your mind.
On the random:
Bourne: (wonders why clerics always feel the need to put the "Forsake all others" clause in the vows)
INNSue: I know, you must be Larrylanders.
C: You mean this ISN'T the casino? No wonder I'm not winning. I keep shoving plat bars in the mouths of the monsters. I don't think they like it. They make funny faces tho.
ENSANETI: Time to play TWISTER!
SKADI: (tosses her a disembodied arm)
ENSANITI: Oh look! A brown nose!
SKADI: Left hand, red.
ENSANITI: (cuts off nose) Brown nose yellow!
D: Those KAAOS women love me...
I asked one if she was bright...
And she said...
Does Janet Reno shave her back?
Cyren: Hey, I saw you help a newbie...you were NICE!
SnowWolfe: (ducking under a table) I was on medication!
GaryCooper: Sammy.
Cyren: What?
G: Your name is now Sammy.
C: It is?
G: It is now.
Everyone's gonna be calling you Sammy.
So when are you going to take me on vacation?
C: Out of time. Out of money.
G: I'll settle for Disneyland.
C: I can't take you on vacation.
G: Why not? I fit into any carry on.
Can you carry 180 pounds?
C: No.
G: You'll have to get someone to help you carry me on.
I know you're smitten with someone else. And that's nice. But he can't come to Disney with us.
It's against the rules.
It's a fine thing to be smitten, it is.
*punches her arm*
C: *punches him back*
G: *rubs arm*
One of my favorites. I have no idea who this person was, only met him once, but this was what made the 'cano so fun:
ZZTop: Lemme see, typical Ys opening line...I'm a CIA, FBI agent, and of course I've just won the lottery.
C: I'm an NSA agent that works undercover as a fashion model, and of course I'm RICH.
Z: Didn't I see you at the Monaco awards?
C: Of course! I was a presenter, but I can't tell you which one.
Z: I'll send you a picture of myself. Keep in mind that I did get a new pair of overalls...
C: And I'll send a picture of myself. My nose is only a ridge after constructive surgery, but I'm sure you'll still love me...
Z: RIDGE! Don't say that...I was wounded on a ridge in 'nam...it's...gone.
C: Well, after the operation, I'm a hermaphrodite...there's plenty to go around.
And it's only a slight limp.
Z: Limp, oh, don't mention those.
C: Damn it all, I throw open the gates of my soul to you and God can sort out the pieces! She's always cleaning up after me anyway.
Z: My soul is like a light...seeking thy soul...and brightening it like the stars in the sky.
C: Aaaah...the light of your soul brightens the dark corners and I see...dust bunnies.
Z: And they keep going...and going...
C: Pookie-kins! I adore you!
Z: You know I love it when you call me that.
Cyren: Yes, they're very enlightening.
S: Have you read the new chapters?
C: NEW chapters? (grabbing copy)
S: Yes, the ones unearthed at Yueng Su Chan.
C: NO!
S: Well, would you like me to tell you about them?
C: YES!
S: Well, the 14th chapter goes something like this...
C: (awaiting enlightenment eagerly)
S: The 14th chapter says something about the wisdom of ensuring that the portapotties are downstream...
On the subject of unconventional marriages:
DE*HAVEN: I've planted...a seed...and after the Holiday of the birth of the Christian God, I shall ask you to become my wife.
Cyren: And this seed...does it now need a load of bullshit to fertilize it?
D: Life is a highway...
And there are stops along that highway, waystations.
The Tavern...is one of those waystations.
And you meet people, and then move on...
I believe that if you saw roses on the side of the road...and pulled over to smell their scent...
That you would become lost in them and never leave.
Marry me.
C: Can I ask a question?
D: Ask 2 or 3, I'm flexible.
C: Will you go to the ceremony?
D:
Can't my lawyer just go?C: Proxy, huh? Send me the signed papers.
D: I would never miss our wedding ceremony.
C: I will marry you if you go to the ceremony.
Gwara: DE*HAVEN, certain vows will be expected of you.
DE*HAVEN: Uh oh.
D: I want to stay married to you.
C: I don't understand, what does that mean?
D: Ok, I'll explain.
I
want
to
stay
married
to you
C: Define married.
D: It means that you're free to dance with whomever you choose.
It means that you save the last dance for me. When the dance is over, it's me that you go home with.
C: Nice definition. I accept.
D: Damn. I hate it when they love you for your mind.
On the random:
Bourne: (wonders why clerics always feel the need to put the "Forsake all others" clause in the vows)
INNSue: I know, you must be Larrylanders.
C: You mean this ISN'T the casino? No wonder I'm not winning. I keep shoving plat bars in the mouths of the monsters. I don't think they like it. They make funny faces tho.
ENSANETI: Time to play TWISTER!
SKADI: (tosses her a disembodied arm)
ENSANITI: Oh look! A brown nose!
SKADI: Left hand, red.
ENSANITI: (cuts off nose) Brown nose yellow!
D: Those KAAOS women love me...
I asked one if she was bright...
And she said...
Does Janet Reno shave her back?
Cyren: Hey, I saw you help a newbie...you were NICE!
SnowWolfe: (ducking under a table) I was on medication!
GaryCooper: Sammy.
Cyren: What?
G: Your name is now Sammy.
C: It is?
G: It is now.
Everyone's gonna be calling you Sammy.
So when are you going to take me on vacation?
C: Out of time. Out of money.
G: I'll settle for Disneyland.
C: I can't take you on vacation.
G: Why not? I fit into any carry on.
Can you carry 180 pounds?
C: No.
G: You'll have to get someone to help you carry me on.
I know you're smitten with someone else. And that's nice. But he can't come to Disney with us.
It's against the rules.
It's a fine thing to be smitten, it is.
*punches her arm*
C: *punches him back*
G: *rubs arm*
One of my favorites. I have no idea who this person was, only met him once, but this was what made the 'cano so fun:
ZZTop: Lemme see, typical Ys opening line...I'm a CIA, FBI agent, and of course I've just won the lottery.
C: I'm an NSA agent that works undercover as a fashion model, and of course I'm RICH.
Z: Didn't I see you at the Monaco awards?
C: Of course! I was a presenter, but I can't tell you which one.
Z: I'll send you a picture of myself. Keep in mind that I did get a new pair of overalls...
C: And I'll send a picture of myself. My nose is only a ridge after constructive surgery, but I'm sure you'll still love me...
Z: RIDGE! Don't say that...I was wounded on a ridge in 'nam...it's...gone.
C: Well, after the operation, I'm a hermaphrodite...there's plenty to go around.
And it's only a slight limp.
Z: Limp, oh, don't mention those.
C: Damn it all, I throw open the gates of my soul to you and God can sort out the pieces! She's always cleaning up after me anyway.
Z: My soul is like a light...seeking thy soul...and brightening it like the stars in the sky.
C: Aaaah...the light of your soul brightens the dark corners and I see...dust bunnies.
Z: And they keep going...and going...
C: Pookie-kins! I adore you!
Z: You know I love it when you call me that.