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Spoof on LOTR DAOC Style


Staff member
If you have a moment read through this please.. tell me what you think ,, i think it is hillarious!! You have to understand DAOC to appreciate it.

Gatekeeper: Speak friend and enter

Frodo: Enter exit

[Group] Frodo: WTF? Where's the Dwarf King?
[Group] Aragorn: Guess he hasn't popped.
[Group] Merry: Wanna biscuit!
[Group] Gandalf: STFU Merry.
[Group] Frodo: Seriously, there's no Dwarves anywhere. WTF?
[Group] Samwise: Hey a goblin! I didn't know they popped here.
[Group] Frodo: What con?
[Group] Samwise: Blue to me.
[Group] Merry: Pulling...
[Group] Frodo: No! They add!
[Group] Samwise: inc 2
[Group] Samwise: Make that 6.
[Group] Gandalf: More like 20.
[Group] Aragorn: @#%$! Try to get to the zone point!
[Group] Gandalf: On me!
[Group] Aragorn: Tanking 4.
[Group] Galdalf: ON ME DAMMIT!
[Group] Merry: Weee!
[Group] Frodo: Sprint!
[Group] Aragorn: Frodo, Give Gandalf the ring. He can use it to get away then
come back and res maybe.
[Group] Frodo: Trade bugged.
[Group] Aragorn: Trade bugged I disagree, you just don't want to give it up. Hand it
[Group] Frodo: NO! IT'S PRECIOUS!
[Group] Gandalf: Balrog add!
Gandalf kills the Balrog!
Gandalf has just been killed by a Balrog!
[Group] Aragorn: Merry you idiot!
[Group] Frodo: Zoned safely.


[Group] Frodo: Jesus what a pain!
[Group] Samwise: I know.
[Group] Frodo: How many orc adds did we get there?
[Group] Aragorn: About 25 or so.
[Group] Frodo: Where is everyone?
[Group] Samwise: I'm right next to you.
[Group] Boromir: I released. gl guys. Logging.
[Group] Aragorn: Leg, Gimli and I are all together. Where are you guys?
[Group] Legolas: Gandalf never came back after going LD.
[Group] Frodo: Merry? Pippin?
Aragorn sends "WTF? Don't get Merry back, the guy is a moron!"
You send "WTF am I supposed to do? He's still in the grp. He's gonna want to get
back with us." to Aragorn
[Group] Merry: Biscuit!
[Group] Pippin: We're surrounded by aggro Orcs. Can't move.
[Group] Frodo: We'll come get you.
[Group] Aragorn: Once we find each other lol.
[Group] Samwise: This is stupid. We're all spread out.
[Group] Legolas: I'm out of arrows. Can we head back to town first?
[Group] Frodo: You idiot. Why didn't you bring enough?
[Group] Legolas: WTF? We were supposed to get on the boat and go down the river.
What did I need arrows for?
[Group] Frodo: Gee, I don't know. Maybe cuz you're a RANGER!
[Group] Legolas: Up yours.
[Group] Aragorn: Guys... dont' argue...
[Group] Legolas: Hey, at least I specced my bow. Better than your blade-specced
[Group] Aragorn: Well at least *I* didn't get rid of my Archer's Bracer just to
get a +CHA item.
[Group] Legolas: Well, I gotta look good, you know.
[Group] Aragorn: I hate it when people gimp themselves for roleplay purposes.
WTF is up with that!?
[Group] Pippin: These orcs are coming a bit closer now.
[Group] Merry: Should I pull one?
[Group] Pippin: If you do, I'll disband and run, you imbecile.
[Group] Merry: Biscuit!
[Group] Gimli: we r ub3r. we shld hunt more.
[Group] Frodo: Gawd I hate leet.
[Group] Gimli: i m w4y mor3 lee+ th4n joo.
[Group] Legolas: Hey, I LIKE having a high CHA. It's important.
[Group] Aragorn: For what!? You're a RANGER. You're a god d**n CHA specced
[Group] Pippin: /gu god I'm with a stupid group.
[Group] Frodo: ...
[Group] Pippin: mistell
[Group] Aragorn: Look. Let's all just meet up. Frodo what's your loc.
[Group] Frodo: Lets split up and form individual groups. I think that might be
[Group] Gimli: d3wd... we all h4ve tha same quest! Why split?
[Group] Legolas: I mean, what's the point of not being pretty?
[Group] Merry: Pulling! Wee!
[Group] Pippin: God dammit, Merry!
[Group] Aragorn: Well, you might hit things once in a while, Legolas.
[Group] Legolas: WTF are you talking about? I hit every time!
[Group] Aragorn: Yeah, but you got lucky.
[Group] Legolas: To hell I did! And speaking of gimping yourself what's up with
being a human Ranger? Rangers need qui and dex, you know.
[Group] Aragorn: I'm blade specced. I needed the CON more.
[Group] Legolas: And don't even start with me on over-roleplaying. We were all
ready to go and you were busy RPing with that elf champ chick back in town.
[Group] Aragorn: Dude. Arwen is my eternal lover.
[Group] Legolas: We didn't have room to group her. Say no and move on. RP on
your own time, dude.
[Group] Frodo: Oh to hell with it. I'm logging till the next movie.
Frodo has left the group.

You have entered Orc Infested Forest.
No monster Target in range.
No monster Target in range.
No monster Target in range.
No monster Target in range.
Members of Fellowship of the Ring currently online:
1. Frodo the Level 1 Stalker in Orc Invested Forest
2. Legolas the Level 23 Ranger in Rivendale
[Guild] Frodo: Hey, Leg. Wanna work on the quest?
[Guild] Legolas: Can't. Busy.
[Guild] Frodo: Busy doing what?
[Guild] Legolas: Looking at myself in a mirror.
[Guild] Frodo: Right. Of course.
Your friend, Merry, has just entered the game.
You have removed Merry from your friends list.
[Guild] Merry: Biscuit!
You must wait 20 seconds to quit. Stand or tyoe /quit to cancel.
[Guild] Merry: Need res.
[Guild] Legolas: Serves you right, you jerkoff.
[Guild] Merry: Frodo! Wanna hunt?
You will quit in 15 seconds.
You send "Frodo is currently AFK." to Merry.
Merry sends "Come on, I need PLing! Biscuit!"
You will quit in 10 seconds.
You send "No, dude. You always pull purples an get us killed." to Merry
Merry sends "Come on! Pweeeze?"
You send "Well, ok. Meet me at the top of Mount doom. I'm going /anon for now.
But I'll be there. Just wait for me." to Merry.
Merry sends "Yay! omw."
You will quit in 5 seconds.

Stolen from some guy at some forum somewhere:

*** Chat Log Opened: Wed Dec 17 11:59:09 2002

Aragorn: geez where's gandalf been?
Aragorn: been like 2 months since i saw him
Gimli: he was mad
Aragorn: mad? why?
Gimli: tried to solo that balrog in Moria.
Gimli: said wtf good is his spec if he can't solo a balrog
Gimli: sold his acct i think
Aragorn: dfd#
Legolas: I lament for Gandalf.
Gimli: where those dork hobbits?
Aragorn: you encumbered, gimli? you're so SLOW
Gimli: bah
Aragorn: Frodo, what you up to?
Frodo: epic...the One Ring quest
Gimli: epic? for what class?
Frodo: i'm a lvl 27 Commoner.
Aragorn: you need help, fro?
Frodo: no, i'm good, thx
Frodo: got sam w*
Samwise: that you do, mr. frodo!
Frodo: look, sam, pal...it's mr. BAGGINS.
Frodo: Frodo is my FIRST name
Samwise: yes, sir, mr. frodo!
Frodo: jesus
Glaknuk was just killed by Eomer!
Eofar was just killed by Frghuk!
Frghuk was just killed by Eothor!
Grzzhak was just killed by Theobar!
Ulthazg was just killed by Eomer!
Aragorn: Eomer, where's death spam?
Eomer: just us horse lords zerging orcs
Eomer: we're fine
Aragorn: how are my Horse Lord homies doing?
Eomer: we just claimed Edoras.
Eomer: but Theoden is not himself
Eomer: i mean, his lil bro came on to play his char
Eomer: can't stand that little #DSw
Gimli: he lets his lil bro lead Horse Lords?
Eomer: no when he's on horse lords just do what Grima says
Grima: stfu Eomer, theoden would want you to go to mordor
Eomer: forget it idiot. my grp going to fields of rohan to drum up RPs
Grima: bah!
Theoden: can i have cg plz?
Gimli: Theo, you're in the cg already.
Theoden: ok rofl lol roflmao!!!!!!!!
Legolas sends, "What manner of hex has befallen brave Theoden?"
You send, "curse of the little bro, bro" to Legolas.
Eomer: Where are you guys?
Aragorn: FF
Theoden: what FF
Gimli: Fangorn forest
Theoden: ok kk thx gmili
Legolas: Mine eyes spy a scout for Saruman.
Aragorn: where?
Legolas: Through yonder grove.
Gimli: um, shoot him
Legolas: My arrowflight flew not true.
Aragorn: 4@F2 mezzed
Gimli: DDs2ing AE mez
Legolas: I am bound by fell magics!
Grima: theoden sez to rush pk. guards are easy to kill.
Theoden: good idea gramma kk do it everyone
Gandalf: sup
Gimli: Gandalf?
Aragorn: it cannot be
Gandalf: hi what's the story?
Gimli: you the real gand or did he sell?
Gandalf: it matters not. i'm RR8.
Gandalf: and RR8 = uber
You send, "ok, theoden is being played by his little bro" to Gandalf.
You send, "and grima thinks he runs the show" to Gandalf.
Gandalf sends, "then our path is clear".
Theoden: can i have 1 gold plz?
Gimli: Theo, you're lvl 51.2. you have like 6 plat.
Theoden: omfg roflmao kk thx ))))))))))))))))))))))
Gandalf: if mythic is listening, PLEASE put in white dye
Gandalf: this grey ain't cutting it
Gimli: what we doing now?
Gandalf: theoden! put your big brother on
Theoden: kk now he home from work )))))))))))))))
Gandalf: good boy. get help.
Grima: no! theo! you are the true leader of the horse lords!
Theoden: hey folks, i'm back. i hate making pizzas
Grima: bah! this sux. i'm logging.
Theoden: Grima, you dork.
Theoden: there, i booted him from guild. lol
Theoden: what's going on?
Aragorn: any scouts out?
Legolas: A vast horde of beasts marches on Edoras.
Eomer: again? 33Ff, we JUST took Edoras
Aragorn: #s?
Legolas: Too many for mine eyes to count.
Aragorn: how many earthies here?
Gimli: us, plus newbs
Theoden: ok, here's the plan
Theoden: fall back to HD
Theoden: we'll corpse-xfer-spam them there
Theoden: sound good Gand?
Theoden: Gand?
Gimli: Gand LD
Aragorn: he's got a lousy connection
Theoden: i swear he LDs just so he doesn't have to sit thru the boring parts
Eowyn: Hi Aragorn.
Aragorn: Hi Eow
Eowyn: /em blush
Legolas sends, "Methinks Aragorn doth have Eowyn's tender heart in his palm."
You send, "yeah, maybe" to Legolas.
You send, "this Lego guy is new right? what server is he from?" to Aragorn.
Aragorn sends, "Guin, i think".
You send, "ah, ok" to Aragorn.
Frodo: um, this creepy schizo lurikeen in his underwear is following me around
Samwise: i don't trust him, mr. frodo.
Samwise: we should /appeal him for harrasment
Frodo: ok, mr. samwise, you do that
GollumTheGood: We musts help master.
GollumTheEvil: No no no! We musts KILLSIES the master!
Gimli: inc orcs and wargs
Theoden: send newbs ahead to HD
Theoden: they're just free RPs for orcs out in the open
Gimli: dude, lego, i've never seen a ranger pull off so many one-shots
Legolas: Indeed, my arrows fly true and bite hard this eve!
Aragorn: fhhS
Eowyn: Aragorn! No!
Aragorn: i fell off a cliff. dead at bottom
Aragorn: you can't reach me. gonna corpse xfer to HD
Theoden: k
Theoden: rez dead and /stick
Theoden: we move in 30
Gimli: so where tf are merri and pip?
Aragorn: i think they're roleplaying with trees in FF
Legolas: Perhaps they seek to sway the favor of the trees in this war.
Gimli: no RPs from their little skits
Aragorn: /shrug
Theoden: ok upgrade keep doors
Eowyn: Aragorn! You're all right!
Aragorn: um, yup. i xfered
Eowyn: /em smiles!
You send, "woohoo! stud!" to Aragorn.
Aragorn sends, "true i'm a stud, but she's prolly a guy irl".
Aragorn sends, "definitely hot in game tho ".
Gimli: seriously this all we got?
Gimli: greys and greens only?
Aragorn: aye. we will make do
Gimli: summoner gonna get a workout
Theoden: archers on the walls
Theoden: tanks in courtyard
Theoden: don't get AEed
Theoden: anyone know how many inc?
Legolas: A great warhost cometh.
Theoden: yeah great...HOW MANY
Legolas: The fields are flooded with hate.
Theoden: sigh
Gimli: will someone mop up all that hate out there? i keep stepping in it
Aragorn: 1250 fgs inc
Theoden: wtf? you saying there are 10000 orcs out there?
Aragorn: /em does math
Aragorn: yes
Theoden: ok, i hate to say this
Theoden: but wtf are our scouts?!
Aragorn: Lego and i are here
Theoden: next time can you rangers actually SCOUT instead of run w/us?
Theoden: so a 1250 fg zerg doesn't sneak up on us again like a 50 stealth spec assassin?
Aragorn: sorry i'm melee specced
Legolas: I lament my failure. I ask humbly for your forgiveness.
Aragorn: everyone spam /as to get more out here
Theoden: no! we will do this ourselves
Theoden: RPs are all MINE i tell you!
Gimli: (i think...can't see...too short)
Aragorn: they got trebs
Aragorn: like DDf3ing 193737939 rams too
Theoden: and where are all our casters?!
Gimli: Ya, where's Arwen, ara?
Aragorn: dunno. she and i kinda broke up
Eoywn: Really? You did?
Aragorn: yup, pretty much.
Aragorn: she didn't even want her Pearlescent Necklace back.
Gimli: got 3 orcs so far!
Legolas: My tally climbs ever more skyward! 17!
Legolas: 18! 19!
Legolas: 20 fearsome foes fallen!
Aragorn: wow.
Aragorn: geez how are you specced, Lego?
Gimli: bah nerf rangers
Aragorn: NO!
Legolas: NO!
Samwise: what? why, mr. frodo?
Frodo: cuz you dumped me in the swamp and aggroed those dead ghosts
Frodo: good thing that freaky schizo lurikeen was here
Theoden: they on doors
Theoden: protect summoner
Aragorn: why do WE have a corpse summoner in OUR realm if WE have one of THEIR relics?
Gimli: mythic sux. can't code their way out of a shoebox
Elrond: Hi, this is CSR Elrond.
Elrond: I'm not supposed to say this, but...
Elrond: kk thx bye
Theoden: go elrond! hehe
Gimli: ksE3ing mythic
Aragorn: 1st door down
The forces of Middle-Earth have captured Isengard!
The forces of Middle-Earth have captured Isengard!
The forces of Middle-Earth have captured Isengard!
The forces of Middle-Earth have captured Isengard!
Gimli: woot earthies!
Theoden: wootah!
Gimli: did that open Moria?
Eomer: NO!
Eomer: i'd get fewer RPs if you all went to Moria
Gimli: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aragorn: who took isen?
Merriadoc: just me and pip w/some trees
Legolas: I told you.
Gimli: 2nd door 30%
Theoden: repair it
Aragorn: FDd3 this. follow me outside gimli
Gimli: ok
Eowyn: Be careful, brave Aragorn!
Theoden: 2nd door down!!
Theoden: 2nd door down!!
Theoden: protect the summoner
Aragorn: too late
Theoden: dSTw
Gimli: we are SO gonna lose this keep
Gandalf: sorry LD
Aragorn: um, could use some help w/these freaking orcs, gand
Gandalf: ok brt
Eomer: /em stretches...ahh, good zerging weather
Eomer: me and my grp are racking up some sweet RPs in rohan
Eomer: while you guys get tractored at HD. need help?
Aragorn: YES DUMB#$a
Gimli: which cg you been listening to eodork
Gimli: get ur punk a$$ over here
Gimli: nm you suck we gonna lose anyway
Legolas: No, wait....guard pop
Theoden: i'm sorry?
Gimli: huh??
Eomer: ??
Eowyn: ?
Legolas: What?
Theoden: wasn't that, like, out of character?
Legolas: K!d%, now you know i'm not really an elf.
Aragorn: geez, go gand
Gimli: they falling back
Theoden: woot! reinforcements!
Eomer: why didn't you tell me this was where all the RPs were?
Eomer: i thought you were just here to lose
Theoden: ok, clean up time folks
Theoden: get the last few of em
Aragorn: sweet.
Gimli: you finish that quest yet frodo?
Frodo: no, i'm still following the freaky loincloth lurikeen
Frodo: i totally trust him
Theoden: nice work everyone.
Aragorn: everyone back inside. med up.
Aragorn: they'll be back in 10 mins


Message for Upgrade
You're crackin me up, Slo! Which server do you play on? Which land? I haven't been able to play for a few months now...puter problems, but when I do, we're on...Palomides...went blank for a moment! LOL...in Midgard. I'll let you know when I'm playing again!