<Le_ther sn_pp'n... pops up from behind the b_r... nudges ShoeHorn...> Brother... this pl_ce needs m_ss_ge parlor... tensions here _re high...
<after typing this post... comes to find his "a" key is on the fritz... nudges ShoeHorn aagin> Do you hppen to have a spare keybord? _hh... never mind <goes back to work>
=A rattle is heard upstairs, followed by a thunder of footsteps as the lively young man descends the stairs in fierce determination, a thick blanket wrapped around him. Before he reaches the bottom, Sneakers leaps over the railing and stretches his arms out making a cape of the blanket, and lands triumphantly on his feet.=
" AHA! goooood MORNING!" =looks around at the people in the tavern= "AWESOME, its aliiiiiiiiiveeeeee, aliiiivee I tell you!!"
=quickly walks up to the lady in scarves= "Well, helllllllooooo there precious. Sweet lord what are you doing wearing next to nothing with this chill in the air." =takes his blanket and wraps it around the woman=
"This is greeatt. WOO!" =lifts head and sees a woman up in the rafters= "Hey up there!"
=moves to Lilly and points at the person on the floor= "SOMEone had quite a night huh? Needs to temper his drinking just a tad ya think?"
=walks over and pushes the body a little with his foot= "Say, what do you suppose those patterns of red marks are on his back?" =moves closer to look= "Geeze louise, its pop! Hey pops! Dad!!" =shakes the barb, who just mumbles and shifts his head to the other side, still in slumber=
"Damn, I thought I'd lost him for good!" =smells something cooking in the kitchen= "Yum, whats cooking today?" =rushes in to look, comes out in a second with some hot meat on a plate= "I'm FAMISHED!!"
=tears into the food with his bare hands=
=looks to Lilly who seems a bit offended= "So, whats the story here? I haven't been here in months, I swore this place was finished for good. But look at it!! People, food, barely dressed women! The only thing missing? hmm.."
=walks over to fireplace, looks up the chute= "Well, this is no good. I'll get to cleaning this as soon as I finish my---" =notices Lilly holding my plate= "..food?"
"Aww cmon, I'm starved! I'll do anything you ask, just let me have the remainder of that awesome meal!"
=looks at ShoeHorn on the floor= "Wow, I cant imagine this! Its been how many years? Thought the fool had vanished for good"
=sits down, looking up at Lilly with the plate= "You know, last time I saw him he was running around in his undergarments chasing after gnomes and goblins. NOT a pleasant sight let me tell you, hahaha." =holds nose= "And not a pleasant smell either!!"
=gets down on knees and begs= "c'mon, give a poor hungry Ranger his grubs, pleaseeeee"
::swallowin' a bite a ill gained fast breakers, the plate is handed over ta the energetic ranger beggin' so err... engergtically like at her feet::
I can only wonder what ya'd be like with a cuppa my special fortifyin'
Guarana Gruel. Not ta be confused with my fertilizing Guano Grounds - one be fer yer insides an' one fer the outside. Ya ken?
::sneaks another piece a heaven off his plate as he looks ta where she pointed::
Oh, musta been a bird flyin' by the window, meybe a bat. Evil Way be an odd sorta place, but I'm growin' ta like it more an' more. So ya know this Shoehorn, fella? ::she reaches out a bare toe and nudges the still snorin' barb:: He's yer dad? He did look a bit grizzled around the edges, but I just figur'd it was from all the fallin' and thumpin' he did. Chasin' after gnomes an' goblins eh? In his undergarments? How be it that he lost his clothes? I know he's got a particul'r weakness fer the smell a roses an' lavender, but I can't see gnomes an' goblins walkin' around with great bouqets of em jus' ta get a big barb ta fall so's they can strip his clothes offa him.
::sneaks another piece a sizzlin' somethin' off his plate as he looks ta where Mourninglory jus' happened ta be engaged in a tug a war fer the blanket with a growlin' puppy::
So, ::swallowin' quickly:: Tell me more about who you are an' how it is you come ta know Shoehorn. I've got ta be off ta here an' there ta collect more petals ta peddle, but not until after I get me slippers.
::a particular'y loud snore made the puppy drop his end a the blanket and go stick his short muzzle inta an open barb mouth, just fer a moment::
It looks like there be a bit a time ta kill until I get me slippers...
Hey Lilly! How was your date with Tater!?
::waves ta Navic an' jingles coins in her pocket::
I don't think skippin' the dinner, the talkin', and goin' right fer the dancin' in a thong on his part, an' grabbin' his money maker on my part, counts fer much of a date, Navic! I still got plenty a coppers ta stick ta the cute lil' fella. Meybe I'll jus' wheel me cart over ta Misty Hollow an see if I can drum up a few customers that want ta throw flowers ta Tater. Course from what I seen ta other night, most of them that be watchin' him seems ta faint er run away screamin'.
::says ta Mourninglory, who was back ta fightin' over a blanket with the puppy::
Ya wanna see some dancin' ya should go ta Misty Hollow an watch this Tater fella. He can sure cut a... well its not a rug 'xcatly, more like a hanky.
=looks down at plate= "Hey! Half my snakemeat is gone! Who..." =looks to where Lilly points, at the tug of war over the blanket=
"Hah, looks like the puppy thinks better of her without the blanket! Can't say I disagree with him!"
=looks back to Lilly, now unknowingly holding an empty plate= "Whats that? Oh, ShoeHorn? He's my pop of course." =puts down the plate and sits atop the table=
"Well, he won't admit it and all, but mum made sure to tell me EXACTLY who my dad was - and to steer CLEAR and stay FAR away from him, hehehe, Gotta luv her"
=looks to Trephine as she runs in and jumps, exclaiming 'SAFE!'=
"Hey there good lookin! Is there a game going on? I'd love to get in on it."
=waits a bit, as the girl seems a bit distant.. as though she's in two places at once . He shrugs a second later and turns back to Lilly=
"erm, where was I? Oh, RIGHT! I was tellin you about that time on the mountain?"
=goes to the dartboard on the wall and collects a few darts, handing some to Lilly=
"Well, see.. I was trackin him down for a while, bein as such I missed him after all those years.." =throws a dart, landing it just shy of the dartboard on the wall= "oops, haha"
"My Mum said its best that, in case I DO find dad, to stay my distance and watch and most importantly LEARN." =hits the dartboard this time, right on the outer edge= "Shoot!"
" 'After all', mom told me, 'its better to learn from other's mistakes then to suffer the pain of makin them on your own' Hah! What a joker I thought!"
=looks around, then moves in close and whispers=
"But BOY was she ever right. I can't barely count how many things I learned NOT to do by watchin him futz up. heehee. good lord did I ever learn!"
=notices her charming scent, breathes it in a little deeper before moving back= "You know, you smell dazzling" =winks at her, then throws a final dart, this time landing it square in the center of the board= "YES!!"
"Your turn!" =pushes her in front of the board, then steps to her side=
"So, anyway, I tracked him down to this swamp where he's fighting off some plant and holding up a bouquet of flowers as if it were some prize trophy. Flowers! ahahaha"
=nudges Lilly on= "Go on, take a shot. The pointy edge goes THAT way"
"Lucky for dad I was there, I took care to kill the giant snake that was pursuing him through the swamp." =brushes fingers on shirt= "Took a few quiver-fulls of arrows to down the beast, but it was over quick enough."
=stands back and shows pants made of snakeskin= "Huh, nice eh? And that's not the only place you'll find a snake on me." =winks=
"So after collecting enough meat to keep me for a few weeks, I followed him to a tall tall mountain, musta been 5 times the size of this volcano at least!"
=watches Lilly split my dart in half with her shot= "Woah! That's some aim you have there."
"Anyway, theres this nasty stench wafting through the air, I look up and a few hundred yards away its Dad, running in and out of the trees laughing like a little boy."
=reaches for a bite to eat, and sees an empty plate. He looks over to the puppy suspiciously= "Bad dog!"
"Ahh well. So, a moment later, pop is pulling off his armor and gear and throwing it away shouting 'HA HA HA! Im INVINCIBLE' and chasing after a number of creatures like a crazed lunatic"
"I could NOT stop laughing, there he was taunting and teasing those monsters the whole while, shouting out the dumbest things. 'Where's your mommy now, huh' and 'You scream like a schoolgirl!'" =lays on table laughing= "God, that was CLASSIC hahaha"
=rolls onto side a moment later= "But you know whats better than that? Well, I figured that awful smell was what was scaring those creatures away and all. But I'm pretty sure Barb's are of very little intellect, if ya know what I mean. haha.. after all, not ALL monsters have a sense of smell!" =rolls back again holding stomach laughing=
"Hahaha.. well.. Not 10 minutes later, its DAD who's being chased, now running through trees and the like with his arms flailing about, screaming hysterically. hahaha. Here he is in his undergarments, with no defense at all - having tossed everything he owned to the ground- , being chased by this faceless demon. God, I dont know if I ever laughed more in my life then that day."
=hand slapping down on the table= "WOO, lord. What a day that was! And for the 'hero's grand finale, Dad runs into a tree, falls unconscious to the ground and rolls halfway down the hill. Had it not been for me - AGAIN! - and my skillful hand in battle, he might not have been anything more than dinner that night for whatever that creature was that chased him."
=sits up and looks back at the sleeping Barb= "The worst imaginable stench ever - I mean EVER! - and it was ME forced to handle him! I nearly passed out a few times getting him back on his feet and into his gear. But *sigh*, I suppose it was worth it"
=picks at the wood on the table= "He told me after that to let him be, not to follow where he was going because it was no place for mortals to go" =frowns= "That was when we said our goodbyes, and I watched him climb to the summit of that hill, and disappear from this world and my life" =looks sad-eyed out the window for a moment, but then the makings of a smile begin to return to his face=
"But here he is, back again! Good ol pops, haha" =hops up, walks over and kicks ShoeHorn in his side* "Wake up, ya old fool. I missed ya!"
=the fool continues to stnore=
"So, miss.. what was your name? Oh, Lilly.. how appropriate.. tell me a bit about yourself, I've got time to waste as well"
(a parrot, claws clutching the back of a chair, lisps to Sneakers)
Thay there hansome, what thay you and me play hide the beak, an I'll be it. SQUWAK!
(Mourninglory wondered where exactly her brother had gotten this parrot he'd given her. It didn't seem quite right. And fairly wrong)
::begins ta consider the big barg Shoehorn's brain might be swellin', thus causin' his droolin' an sleepin'::
Well, there's nuthin' ta know bout me, cept - petals is me business. Through rain an hail an sleet an snow, an muties tryin' ta eat me, I'll be goin' ta where the best blossoms be.
Say, ya think we should stick some leeches on yer da? Meybe 'round his head abit? If he's got swellin', relievin' the pressure's the only way ta rouse him!
=curiously approaches the parrot=
"Aren't we a dirty little bird! Yes, we are! haha." =reaches in pocket, finds a cracker and feeds it to the bird= "erm, thatll be the only thing Ill have to do with your beak!" =strokes its head, laughing=
=listens to Lilly, lookin at pops= ""Leeches!? Swellin? Well.. he's got a bit of a big head alright, but he's had his share of hard knocks to bring his ego down a notch or two" =winks= "It could be a fun prank though!"
"Anyway, if you'll ladies excuse me, I'm off to the roof to start my work"
=walks out the door. A few moments later an unconscious barb on the floor mumbles something in his sleep.. 'this one time..at band camp...zzzz'=
"eeyaaarrhoorgghh" <stretching and yawning, Shoe finally wakes from a nice long slumber on the floor. His hand reaches up to wipe drool off his face but it comes in contact with something thick and slimy>
"AAahhh!!" <frantically swats at the gross thing on his face, then feels another on his neck. He gets up and runs to the mirror, his jaw dropping>
"Get them off!! Aahhh" <His body wiggles and writhes about as he grabs at the leeches and rips them off, leaving little spots of blood all over his skin>
"Bleech. uggh.." <runs outside and dumps a bucket of water on his head, then takes a moment to compose himself, and comes back to the tavern door shuddering a little>
"hyarglubalubblaa" <shuts mouth with hand realizing he's unfit for talking yet, and instead waves at everyone in the tavern and sits down at a table, staring blankly ahead>