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Thread: YSERBIAN IDOL

  1. #1

    YSERBIAN IDOL

    Come one come all.

    The Dragon Court and everyone's favorite thonged Dwarf, Tater, are hosting a talent show.

    Try to become the next Yserbian Idol and gain the fame and admiration of millions...er,...thous...er,...a couplefew people.

    The stage is set.

  2. #2
    Arrr! me and me mate Black Jacques will be hoist'n the Jolly Roger and swinging the lead. *Both climb to the stage*
    Avast me hearties! Capt'n Billy Bones taught Blackie and I this number before he met Davey Jones arrr... no quarter Blackie...

    *Nyzz*
    Shiver me timbers, shiver me soul
    There are men whose hearts as black as coal
    And they sailed their ship cross the ocean blue
    A blood-thirsty captain and a cutthroat crew

    *Nyzz & Blackie lock arms and sway to 'n fro*
    Yo oh heave ho
    Yo oh heave ho

    *Blackie*
    It's as dark a tale as was ever told
    Of the lust for treasure and the love of gold
    Shiver my timbers, shiver my sides
    There are hungers as strong as the wind and tides

    *Nyzz*
    And those buccaneers drowned their sins in rum
    The devil himself would have to call them scum
    Every man aboard would have killed his mate
    For a bag of guineas or a piece of eight

    *Blackie* Arrr! two, three... uhh... be'n eight!
    *Nyzz warps Blackie over the head* Ye landlubber! Der be no quarter!

    *Blackie*
    Hulla wacka ulla wacka something not right
    Many wicked icky things gonna happen tonight
    Hulla wacka ulla wacka sailor man beware
    When de money in the ground dere's murder in de air

    *Nyzz*
    Shiver me timbers, shiver me bones
    There are secrets that sleep with old Davy Jones
    When greed and villainy sail the sea
    You can bet your boots there'll be treachery


    *Nyzz & Blackie*
    Yo oh heave ho
    Yo oh heave ho

    *Nyzz whispers* big finish we be need'n... no quarter Black!

    *Blackie*
    Shiver my timbers, shiver my sails
    Dead men tell no tales...!

    *Both bow, Nyzz' glass eye falls out and rolls off the stage. After retrieving the eye both return to the bar for drinks*
    *Nyzz* Will be see'n if these lubbers top that!
    *Blackie* Arrr! what comes after three?
    *Warp*

  3. #3
    If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.
    "If the earth were flesh, then it would bleed our blood." -Tiger
    TigerForce.net

  4. #4
    Arrr! You outt be watchin yer tongue little bilge rat. Or ye be walkin the plank.
    *Blackie* two, three, FOUR! FOUR! then... umm...
    *Warp*

  5. #5
    Well I don't know... I think they did a great job. It has a nice beat and had me dancing in my seat. <winks at Tiger> And ya know what a thing I have for Pirates!

  6. #6
    <Giggles and dances my way up onto the stage, strikes a pose and begins to speak clearly into the microphone with a little girl voice> Good Evening Everybody. I want to thank you for the opportunity to entertain you tonight. My name is Emily Alexandria Elizabeth and my daddy is Tiger DarkClaw. My mommy is Raisa. They really like it here so I thought I would come for a visit. I am two and a half years old so I can only visit before my bedtime. I want to sing a song that I wrote for my daddy. <whispers to the audience> He is afeared of bugs and spiders.....

    <begins to sing in a clear voice to the old familiar tune we all know>

    The Itsy bitsy spider
    Went up the Tigers leg
    He let out a squeal
    Like a little girl
    Down came his trousers
    Showing all his secrets
    What a sight it was to see
    The Tiger turning red!!

    <Pirouettes beautifully and bows to the audience> Thank you! Thank you!! Good night!

  7. #7
    ::Takes her four leaf clovers, her rose colored glasses (filled with milk fer Tater), and turns from the tavern door to retrace her steps ta the blue skies found in the untamed places. Even the Swamp has blue skies if ye were ta look up an' not around. Lil' girls shoudna be allowed ta walk in the playgrounds o'grownups, not even fer a minute, not even fer a heartbeat. She hoped Raisa would put her babe ta bed and soon. Meybe after she gathered more petals fer pushin', more blossoms fer bartering, an' a yule tree fer the Evil Way tavern - then she'd see if all the babes were ta bed, an' stay awhile.::

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    I want to sing a song that I wrote for my daddy.
    Arrr! <sniff> Arrr!
    *Blackie* I need a tissue...

    *Clapping 'n whistling*

    Brought a tear to me eye

    *Blackie* Ohh, last time I seen you cry was...
    *WARP!*

  9. #9
    (Fleetwood behind a table with a pitcher of water and several papers.)

    "Okay now, the pirate duo of Nyzzrym and Black Jacque...
    Boys, the whole gay pirate thing went out about the same time as the Village People. I mean really, the last time I saw ruffled shirts like that was on Seinfeld. And "ARRR" is a letter of the alphabet between Q and S.
    So take your act on the high seas 'cause the shore patrol is here to toss you into the brig."

    "Emily dear, we have a little thing called the Three Name Rule. Some notable examples are John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald. You can join this club because your cutesy singing just assasinated any chance of winning this competition."

    "NEXT!"

  10. #10
    <The lights drop down eriely low and a hush falls across the tavern and its occupants. Through the darkness on the stage a deep and booming voice reaches out to the audience. sending shivers down their spine.>

    "Deep from the lower levels of the Volcano. Straight to you here this eve in Dragons Court. Yserbius Idol is please to present your half time entertainment, which will astound most of you, shock the rest of you and make no mistake will send you away this evening in awe."

    <The silence, settled over the crowd is not broken as the voice rest for a moment to let the words have their impact. Gently a rhythmic pulse in the background starts very low. and builds in volume. so soft it takes moments before the crowds realize it is the theme song "Eye of the Tiger" and only moments before the hard begining lick of the first chorus hits a rough voice from the background breaks the hypnotic effect over the crowd.>

    "This ones for you Tiger baby!!" Tater yells from the darkness.

    <as if on cue two adept mages standing the rear corners of the tavern holding Staffs of Light lift the staffs and slam their ends on the floor with a word and beams of lights fire across the tavern and meet at the Golden Pole in the center of the Stage. As if on cue by the light and the hard beat of the music. a yell , and a blur is seen as short non descripted Dwarf , wearing only a worn red thong, leaps from the night and his stubby little hand grasp the gleaming pole and spins in the air his weight spinning him toward the floor. As his hairy and bare feet hit the floor his hips start a undulating beat to the tempo as he works the pole playing on the awe and shock of the speechless audience. A freshly shaved back and shiny tush is presented to the crowd as Tater leans forward places his hands on his knees and proceeds to shake his Dwarven Money Maker>

    "Eye of the Tiger" Sings out loud to the music as he works the crowd with his movements. "Yea Eye of the Tiger"

    <excited sounds of Gasping and suprise that could be mistaken for vomited and wretching can be heard through out the tavern in the darkness. After what seems like an eternity for the literally captive audience (the door was temporarily locked) the music subsides and poof a billowing cloud of smoke errupts from the stage floor and the lights from the Staffs blink out and the Tavern lights blink on and Tater is gone the Half time celebrity Show is ended. All that remains is a Red Thong on the floor and a old helm for donations>


    "Ummm"Taters whispers to Fleetwood from beneath the stage in a hidden room. " Get me my Tong, i lost it getting in here and its a wee bit , ermm well its kind of cold in here."

    <Tavern Chatter returns to normal as the audience discusses what has just transpired and a few find the time to give Tiger a slap on the back and wink here and there.>

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