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Where's the party


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ok, this tavern is way tooo quiet man. We need to lure some people back here with something, hmm.. <scratches head>

Perhaps we can hire some female friendlies to join in some pooltime games, and load up the tavern with kegs of ale and a bard to liven up the atmosphere? Hmm.. dunno what to tempt the women to return, but certainly an attractive Barb such as myself would be reason enough to visit <grin>

Hmm.. I recall a fella handing me the 'deed' to Evil Way a long while back but I'm certain it must been a fake, for it is written in crayon.

Nonetheless, I'd love to hear a bit of noise comin' from this place again. Even if it's drunken barbs falling off their stools or men being thrown out the window in barfights. Make some noise people!

harr! <raises a glass and toasts to the chaotic golden olden days>


Inactive Members
<enters the nearly empty tav> Hey ShoeHorn, howz business? Reck'n I can get these pitchers filled? <slides the pitchers down the bar> Ya hear 'bout Cyren? <starts to search the tav hi-n-low> This knucklehead by the name Priory up and took her outta the MH tav... believe that? <completes his search and tosses a few gold on the bar> Have a good one bud... take care!


Inactive Members
Cobble Job

*glides into the Evil Way tavern stirring the air with scents of sandlewood and clove. Slapping a leather quirt against a worn table, attention is sought, service required.*

"Shoehorn? SHOEHORN? SHOOOOOEHOOOOORN!?!" *ever sharper cracks of leather on wood punctuates each ever louder call*

"Hmmm... could it be he saw me coming? I'm sure the Heraldry Hall incident was forgotten years ago. There was really no one that would have passed that little tiltillating tale of terror on, well... no one that COULD have... actually. I'm being silly. There's no need to send Kattah and Dexbramah on a room by room search. Yet."

*frowning at the tattered pair as they sniffed at broken flower petals in a refuse pot*

"I'll give the barb with the talent for cobbling ten minutes. *sets an ornate sand filled bauble on the table, turning it upside down and taking a seat to watch it.*


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Mourninglory: Amnesia Victim. Finds herself in the Evil Way tavern sitting across from a woman redolent of sandlewood, clove, and oiled leather. She has no memory of coming here. On her shoulder sits a parrot, its claws dig in to her colorful silk scarves which is all she wears under a drab brown cloak. Bells tinkle from around her wrists and ankles as she nervously shifts in the hard wooden chair. Henna creates elaborate designs on the palms of her hands, the Eye of Horus, she knows this - yet she knows not how. Six parts has the Eye, each part representing a sense - touch, taste, hearing, thought, sight, and smell. Energy must be eaten by the eye in order for an individual to receive a sensation. She is the summoned of the woman across from her. Through her, energy is absorbed and given back tenfold to whom bestowed her life upon her.

"Well the parrot is an interesting touch. I suppose its abilities will lie in the realm of mimicry."

A leather quirt raises Mourninglory's downbent chin up. Green eyes glow at her with an unsettling delight.

"One never knows how magicks of this sort will turn out. Look at all the toads I've had to carress in order to find the ones I've made. Still haven't found one! Hard times, how I do toil for such little reward. Go about your life, Mourninglory. Do what you've been born to do.

Laughter is stopped eventually with the tip of the quirt slapping at a bat crawling by.

"Be free, for you are mine."

Rising to her feet, Mourninglory jingles and sways, finding her warm flesh restrictive. The parrot resettles itself and says "Now see here doll, flim flammin' is what we're about. Bumpin' gums to the milk and egg man when he comes to blow his wad on a new career as a boozehound - that's the boob we're after. Yea. SQUAWK!"

The woman motions for Mourninglory to move away from her table, saying:

"Now, from here on out, you'll forget what you never knew. You are now the younger sister of a fearsome pirate, the parrot was a gift. Your parents are farmers. They raise turnips. No one will question any of that. You are to take what opportunities arise. And flash that eye around abit. I'll be collecting its food."

Mourninglory: Sister of a fearsome pirate, daughter of turnip farmers. Came to the Evil Way tavern from the village of Dagwood, after her fearsome pirate brother stopped by for a visit from the Seas of Inequity where he brought her the lastest attire for up and coming veil dancers.

-hello? Is the owner of this tavern about? I seek a job. It's either hoeing or dancing. I seem to know both.-


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"Whats with all the racket? Sheesh" <ShoeHorn enters from the backroom, surprised to see the two women in the tavern>

"Well, well... THREE women visitin me in one day, this is quite a surprise! BOM! Get our guests something to drink!" <from a dark corner a motionless machine comes to life and walks forward towards LadyChina>

"So, to what do we owe the honor of your visit?" <notices Lilly is not in sight, wonders if she had gone upstairs or stepped outside>

<spots the two creatures moving around a garbage pail> "Yeeks! What the devil..." <gets a broom with the intention of sweeping them away, before noticing two golds on the bar>

"Nice... is this from you?" <picks the golds up, Navic's patronage going unnoticed due to his quick in-and-out whilst I worked away tirelessly in the backroom> "..ooh, and nice whip too might I add, hehe. Kinky"

<hears a bit of stirring in the kitchen> "Umm, just a moment..." <goes to investigate. A moment later some sort of growling is heard and the clattering of pots and pans falling to the floor>"Gimme that, damn mutt! Give it to me!! I said give it!." <more racket is heard as the two struggle together> " FINE! Fine, you can have it.. But, but that's the last free meal you'll get! hmph, I'll deal with you later! Bad dog!"

<Walks back out to the frontroom looking a bit dissheveled, attempting to straighten my clothes.> "Well, I'm going to have to get the animal control people involved soon, if this continues!"

<turns to Mourninglory> "Now whats this I hear about hoeing..? I'm sure you realize the land outside is a bit.. um.. stone dry? Still, business here is pretty slow so if you like, you could combine your talents and step outside and do a dancing hoedown in the fields." <chuckles> "That should be interesting to watch.. and who knows, might be worthwhile if it draws some male patrons to the bar here. Tell me, would you work on commission?" <winks>


Inactive Members
Kinky is as kinky does.

*raising a haughty eyebrow at the disheveled barb, the quirt absently slapped at silk skirts creating a somehow wet sound.*

"This is hardly a whip, darling. A proper whip is at least as long as you are tall, thick, yet slick enough to cut the air with an agile arm to guide its strike."

*One final slap at silken skirts, a satisfied half-smile at the paling barb, and negotiations were begun.*

"I understand that you've a talent for leather working. I want you to craft the finest pair of boots you've ever beheld. No.... let me give you a greater challenge. I want you to craft the finest pair of boots I've ever beheld."

*laying a large cloth wrapped bundle on the table next to her, deft fingers smoothed away knots, exposing a flat pile of cured skins that gleamed black yet had hints of the stars in the night sky.*

"The hide of a full grown black dragon. They're found in swamps, as you may know. Its best not to ask how it came to be that the dragon no longer required his hide. Well, as dragons go they're selfish and stupid. No great sacrifice was required to gain the gift of the hide. Just a bit of thinking."

*pulling a smaller bundle from an inner cloak pocket, it revealed the red fur of a manticore.*

"Line the boots with this. And be careful how you use it. I spent three nights answering riddles before finding the opportunity to relive the pesky creature of its outer layer. The only magical creatures that should be allowed to use the ploy of "riddle me this, and riddle me that" is the sphinx. Traditions count. Don't you agree?"

*glancing up, she caught the barb looking from her to the exotic supplies, back to her, opening his mouth, shaking his head, biting his lip, and finally nodding.*

"These are to be men's boots. A good foot in length at the sole. And, *a soft chuckle* do use the entire 12 inches contained in a true foot measurement. I've no egos to appease with embelished statistics. Knee high when folded down three inches. The inner red of the manticore fur will look divine against the gleam of the black dragon hide."

*two bats began to climb her skirts, in an unusual act of mercy she picked them both up and placed a kiss on the top of their small round heads, they shrieked a pleased batty note and folded their wings around solid bodies, craddled in the curve of one arm.*

"Now you've heard my requirements. What are yours for this service? And no, the gold you recently found wasn't from my purse. I pay for excellence, what is it that you desire?"


Inactive Members
<looks at the bats clinging to LadyChina, scratches head> "Um.. you take a liking to rodents do ya? Odd.. just um.. make sure they dont go scurrying about the tavern and makin holes in the wall, okay?"

"Now, about these boots.. I imagine you must fancy someone special to go to such lengths to retrieve these materials" <runs fingers across the red fur>

"Wages.. wages.. hmm"

<rubs chin, lookin around tavern. The place does need a good tending to, but repairs can be made to cracks and holes and broken windows with a bit of hard labor. No need for money to be spent there.>

"Well, I can surely craft those boots for you, but it might be a bit.."

<thinks to self, looking the woman up and down, then gets a chill up my spine as I start to realize there is something not quite.. natural about her>

"Well, I'm not sure you can afford to pay me rightly for this pair of boots you require. But, I suspect you know of different ways of paying that deal not with gold and silver but of other hmm.. unnatural things." <winks>* So, let me give you a brief rundown of things of value this here place is in need of, and we'll talk about the makings of footwear..."

"Evil Way tavern has gotten a bit rundown after years of neglect, and there are a few things that it needs to bring it back to its former glory. See, the well has nearly run dry, the land outside is bare and dry, no garden nor grass grows there. And animals for food, where are they? Surely where the grass grows, not here! And what's left on the inside is scraps of food and well, look at the empty kegs of ale laying about."

"So, I ask of you, what services can you give me in return, that will make this craft a worthy pursuit"


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"So you yearn for verdant foilage, eh? And animals to graze upon it. Water for your crops. You wish to turn this Evil Way into an Eden.

*laughs disconcertingly*

"You'll need a snake if you're to have your Eden, barb. Its a tradition, and I've already mentioned how I treasure them."

*glancing at a barefoot woman who'd stopped at the bottom of the stairs to exam an obvious blister, she continued* "I'll find a way to bring water back to your land, you'll have to find the natural species of plants that will grow most quickly and give you the harvest you desire."

*nodding and slapping the quirt sharply down on a table, causing everybody to jump, and one to fall - the proclamation was made. "We have a deal, Shoehorn."


Inactive Members
<ponders, envisioning a garden of Eden as LadyChina talks, then spots Eve, erm.. no.. Lilly moving around by the staircase, her body aglow with a beam of light thats found its way in through a cracked window.>

"Well, I'll be.." <realizes just then that a full night has passed by, turns to see the morning light pouring in through the windows>".. time slips by so quickly. 'mornin Lilly"

<begins walking towards her, and loses footing at the sound of a whip snapping down on a table, and clumsily falls to the floor>

"Ow.. err.. right, LadyChina, a deal we have." <lays on the floor for a while, the exhaustion from lack of sleep beginning to take over> zzzz


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::jumps at the sound of leather snappin' an a barb fallin' ta the floor. Watchin' the leather snappin' lady walk out a the tavern with little bats in her arms, Lilly thought did them batty critters have petals on their little mouths? Hmm... I never thought a sellin' ta the pet lovin' crowd. Make a note of it, girl! Like yer da used ta tell ya "a good salesman be doin' it ta line his pockets, a great salesman be doin' it fer the good a the customer!"
That lady an' those batty things need me petals as bad as any I met, prolly more!::

Well I'll jus' be steppin' over ya, Shoehorn. On the other hand, since ya fell face down, I 'spose I could give ya one a them there massages I learned about on a lil' trip I took ta the the down under land a Snog.

::stretchin' out her arms side ta side, Lilly walk'd up an down on the snorin' barb's back, bare toes curlin' into hard muscle::

Oh, yer a tense one. Ya need ta learn ta relax!

::noticin' a confused lookin' lass standin' around in a cloak, Lilly asked if she could borrow it ta put under the barb's cheek which was pressed so hard ta the floor that drool was runnin' out his pushed open mouth. She missed her footin' and fell off her perch on his back when the lass handed over the cloak revealin' a bunch a scarves fer a dress.::

errr... yer not gonna ummm well I can see yer cold already. Oh... dancin' and hoein'?

::she listened a bit::

Ya, well I dunno bout the dancin' but the hoein' be a useful talent fer when I find a spot ta start a nursery fer me best sellin' petals. Soon as I find some fertile ground ta plant me roots in, I'll hire ya. Whats yer name? Mourninglory. HA. Thats an interestin' name. Morning Glories be one a me favorite flowers fer plantin'. They're easy ta care for, they cling ta anythin', an' did ya know that there's one sort called a Moonflower that only blooms at night?

::Liftin' Shoehorn's head off a the floor, she slide the cloak into the small puddle a drool an under his bruisin' cheek::

I figured that fall was gonna leave a mark. Oh well, he's a barb. Sure'an he's had worse. I guess me dream an' what I 'memebered will jus haf ta wait. Meantime, how's about some breakfast, Mourninglory?


Inactive Members
<Le_ther sn_pp'n... pops up from behind the b_r... nudges ShoeHorn...> Brother... this pl_ce needs m_ss_ge parlor... tensions here _re high... :twisted:

<after typing this post... comes to find his "a" key is on the fritz... nudges ShoeHorn aagin> Do you hppen to have a spare keybord? _hh... never mind <goes back to work> :wink:


Inactive Members
=A rattle is heard upstairs, followed by a thunder of footsteps as the lively young man descends the stairs in fierce determination, a thick blanket wrapped around him. Before he reaches the bottom, Sneakers leaps over the railing and stretches his arms out making a cape of the blanket, and lands triumphantly on his feet.=

" AHA! goooood MORNING!" =looks around at the people in the tavern= "AWESOME, its aliiiiiiiiiveeeeee, aliiiivee I tell you!!"

=quickly walks up to the lady in scarves= "Well, helllllllooooo there precious. Sweet lord what are you doing wearing next to nothing with this chill in the air." =takes his blanket and wraps it around the woman=

"This is greeatt. WOO!" =lifts head and sees a woman up in the rafters= "Hey up there!"

=moves to Lilly and points at the person on the floor= "SOMEone had quite a night huh? Needs to temper his drinking just a tad ya think?"

=walks over and pushes the body a little with his foot= "Say, what do you suppose those patterns of red marks are on his back?" =moves closer to look= "Geeze louise, its pop! Hey pops! Dad!!" =shakes the barb, who just mumbles and shifts his head to the other side, still in slumber=

"Damn, I thought I'd lost him for good!" =smells something cooking in the kitchen= "Yum, whats cooking today?" =rushes in to look, comes out in a second with some hot meat on a plate= "I'm FAMISHED!!"

=tears into the food with his bare hands=

=looks to Lilly who seems a bit offended= "So, whats the story here? I haven't been here in months, I swore this place was finished for good. But look at it!! People, food, barely dressed women! The only thing missing? hmm.."
=walks over to fireplace, looks up the chute= "Well, this is no good. I'll get to cleaning this as soon as I finish my---" =notices Lilly holding my plate= "..food?"

"Aww cmon, I'm starved! I'll do anything you ask, just let me have the remainder of that awesome meal!"

=looks at ShoeHorn on the floor= "Wow, I cant imagine this! Its been how many years? Thought the fool had vanished for good"

=sits down, looking up at Lilly with the plate= "You know, last time I saw him he was running around in his undergarments chasing after gnomes and goblins. NOT a pleasant sight let me tell you, hahaha." =holds nose= "And not a pleasant smell either!!"

=gets down on knees and begs= "c'mon, give a poor hungry Ranger his grubs, pleaseeeee"


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::swallowin' a bite a ill gained fast breakers, the plate is handed over ta the energetic ranger beggin' so err... engergtically like at her feet::

I can only wonder what ya'd be like with a cuppa my special fortifyin'
Guarana Gruel. Not ta be confused with my fertilizing Guano Grounds - one be fer yer insides an' one fer the outside. Ya ken?

Whats that!?

::sneaks another piece a heaven off his plate as he looks ta where she pointed::

Oh, musta been a bird flyin' by the window, meybe a bat. Evil Way be an odd sorta place, but I'm growin' ta like it more an' more. So ya know this Shoehorn, fella? ::she reaches out a bare toe and nudges the still snorin' barb:: He's yer dad? He did look a bit grizzled around the edges, but I just figur'd it was from all the fallin' and thumpin' he did. Chasin' after gnomes an' goblins eh? In his undergarments? How be it that he lost his clothes? I know he's got a particul'r weakness fer the smell a roses an' lavender, but I can't see gnomes an' goblins walkin' around with great bouqets of em jus' ta get a big barb ta fall so's they can strip his clothes offa him.

Whats that!?

::sneaks another piece a sizzlin' somethin' off his plate as he looks ta where Mourninglory jus' happened ta be engaged in a tug a war fer the blanket with a growlin' puppy::

So, ::swallowin' quickly:: Tell me more about who you are an' how it is you come ta know Shoehorn. I've got ta be off ta here an' there ta collect more petals ta peddle, but not until after I get me slippers.

::a particular'y loud snore made the puppy drop his end a the blanket and go stick his short muzzle inta an open barb mouth, just fer a moment::

It looks like there be a bit a time ta kill until I get me slippers...


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::waves ta Navic an' jingles coins in her pocket::

I don't think skippin' the dinner, the talkin', and goin' right fer the dancin' in a thong on his part, an' grabbin' his money maker on my part, counts fer much of a date, Navic! I still got plenty a coppers ta stick ta the cute lil' fella. Meybe I'll jus' wheel me cart over ta Misty Hollow an see if I can drum up a few customers that want ta throw flowers ta Tater. Course from what I seen ta other night, most of them that be watchin' him seems ta faint er run away screamin'.

::says ta Mourninglory, who was back ta fightin' over a blanket with the puppy::

Ya wanna see some dancin' ya should go ta Misty Hollow an watch this Tater fella. He can sure cut a... well its not a rug 'xcatly, more like a hanky.


Inactive Members
=looks down at plate= "Hey! Half my snakemeat is gone! Who..." =looks to where Lilly points, at the tug of war over the blanket=

"Hah, looks like the puppy thinks better of her without the blanket! Can't say I disagree with him!"

=looks back to Lilly, now unknowingly holding an empty plate= "Whats that? Oh, ShoeHorn? He's my pop of course." =puts down the plate and sits atop the table=

"Well, he won't admit it and all, but mum made sure to tell me EXACTLY who my dad was - and to steer CLEAR and stay FAR away from him, hehehe, Gotta luv her"

=looks to Trephine as she runs in and jumps, exclaiming 'SAFE!'=

"Hey there good lookin! Is there a game going on? I'd love to get in on it."

=waits a bit, as the girl seems a bit distant.. as though she's in two places at once ;). He shrugs a second later and turns back to Lilly=

"erm, where was I? Oh, RIGHT! I was tellin you about that time on the mountain?"

=goes to the dartboard on the wall and collects a few darts, handing some to Lilly=

"Well, see.. I was trackin him down for a while, bein as such I missed him after all those years.." =throws a dart, landing it just shy of the dartboard on the wall= "oops, haha"

"My Mum said its best that, in case I DO find dad, to stay my distance and watch and most importantly LEARN." =hits the dartboard this time, right on the outer edge= "Shoot!"

" 'After all', mom told me, 'its better to learn from other's mistakes then to suffer the pain of makin them on your own' Hah! What a joker I thought!"

=looks around, then moves in close and whispers=

"But BOY was she ever right. I can't barely count how many things I learned NOT to do by watchin him futz up. heehee. good lord did I ever learn!"

=notices her charming scent, breathes it in a little deeper before moving back= "You know, you smell dazzling" =winks at her, then throws a final dart, this time landing it square in the center of the board= "YES!!"

"Your turn!" =pushes her in front of the board, then steps to her side=

"So, anyway, I tracked him down to this swamp where he's fighting off some plant and holding up a bouquet of flowers as if it were some prize trophy. Flowers! ahahaha"

=nudges Lilly on= "Go on, take a shot. The pointy edge goes THAT way"

"Lucky for dad I was there, I took care to kill the giant snake that was pursuing him through the swamp." =brushes fingers on shirt= "Took a few quiver-fulls of arrows to down the beast, but it was over quick enough."

=stands back and shows pants made of snakeskin= "Huh, nice eh? And that's not the only place you'll find a snake on me." =winks=

"So after collecting enough meat to keep me for a few weeks, I followed him to a tall tall mountain, musta been 5 times the size of this volcano at least!"

=watches Lilly split my dart in half with her shot= "Woah! That's some aim you have there."

"Anyway, theres this nasty stench wafting through the air, I look up and a few hundred yards away its Dad, running in and out of the trees laughing like a little boy."

=reaches for a bite to eat, and sees an empty plate. He looks over to the puppy suspiciously= "Bad dog!"

"Ahh well. So, a moment later, pop is pulling off his armor and gear and throwing it away shouting 'HA HA HA! Im INVINCIBLE' and chasing after a number of creatures like a crazed lunatic"

"I could NOT stop laughing, there he was taunting and teasing those monsters the whole while, shouting out the dumbest things. 'Where's your mommy now, huh' and 'You scream like a schoolgirl!'" =lays on table laughing= "God, that was CLASSIC hahaha"

=rolls onto side a moment later= "But you know whats better than that? Well, I figured that awful smell was what was scaring those creatures away and all. But I'm pretty sure Barb's are of very little intellect, if ya know what I mean. haha.. after all, not ALL monsters have a sense of smell!" =rolls back again holding stomach laughing=

"Hahaha.. well.. Not 10 minutes later, its DAD who's being chased, now running through trees and the like with his arms flailing about, screaming hysterically. hahaha. Here he is in his undergarments, with no defense at all - having tossed everything he owned to the ground- , being chased by this faceless demon. God, I dont know if I ever laughed more in my life then that day."

=hand slapping down on the table= "WOO, lord. What a day that was! And for the 'hero's grand finale, Dad runs into a tree, falls unconscious to the ground and rolls halfway down the hill. Had it not been for me - AGAIN! - and my skillful hand in battle, he might not have been anything more than dinner that night for whatever that creature was that chased him."

=sits up and looks back at the sleeping Barb= "The worst imaginable stench ever - I mean EVER! - and it was ME forced to handle him! I nearly passed out a few times getting him back on his feet and into his gear. But *sigh*, I suppose it was worth it"

=picks at the wood on the table= "He told me after that to let him be, not to follow where he was going because it was no place for mortals to go" =frowns= "That was when we said our goodbyes, and I watched him climb to the summit of that hill, and disappear from this world and my life" =looks sad-eyed out the window for a moment, but then the makings of a smile begin to return to his face=

"But here he is, back again! Good ol pops, haha" =hops up, walks over and kicks ShoeHorn in his side* "Wake up, ya old fool. I missed ya!"

=the fool continues to stnore=

"So, miss.. what was your name? Oh, Lilly.. how appropriate.. tell me a bit about yourself, I've got time to waste as well"


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(a parrot, claws clutching the back of a chair, lisps to Sneakers)

Thay there hansome, what thay you and me play hide the beak, an I'll be it. SQUWAK!

(Mourninglory wondered where exactly her brother had gotten this parrot he'd given her. It didn't seem quite right. And fairly wrong)


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::begins ta consider the big barg Shoehorn's brain might be swellin', thus causin' his droolin' an sleepin'::

Well, there's nuthin' ta know bout me, cept - petals is me business. Through rain an hail an sleet an snow, an muties tryin' ta eat me, I'll be goin' ta where the best blossoms be.

Say, ya think we should stick some leeches on yer da? Meybe 'round his head abit? If he's got swellin', relievin' the pressure's the only way ta rouse him!


Inactive Members
=curiously approaches the parrot=

"Aren't we a dirty little bird! Yes, we are! haha." =reaches in pocket, finds a cracker and feeds it to the bird= "erm, thatll be the only thing Ill have to do with your beak!" =strokes its head, laughing=

=listens to Lilly, lookin at pops= ""Leeches!? Swellin? Well.. he's got a bit of a big head alright, but he's had his share of hard knocks to bring his ego down a notch or two" =winks= "It could be a fun prank though!"

"Anyway, if you'll ladies excuse me, I'm off to the roof to start my work"

=walks out the door. A few moments later an unconscious barb on the floor mumbles something in his sleep.. 'this one time..at band camp...zzzz'=


Inactive Members
"eeyaaarrhoorgghh" <stretching and yawning, Shoe finally wakes from a nice long slumber on the floor. His hand reaches up to wipe drool off his face but it comes in contact with something thick and slimy>

"AAahhh!!" <frantically swats at the gross thing on his face, then feels another on his neck. He gets up and runs to the mirror, his jaw dropping>

"Get them off!! Aahhh" <His body wiggles and writhes about as he grabs at the leeches and rips them off, leaving little spots of blood all over his skin>

"Bleech. uggh.." <runs outside and dumps a bucket of water on his head, then takes a moment to compose himself, and comes back to the tavern door shuddering a little>

"hyarglubalubblaa" <shuts mouth with hand realizing he's unfit for talking yet, and instead waves at everyone in the tavern and sits down at a table, staring blankly ahead>