Welcome to Yserbius.Org! Join our Ultima Online Private Server and have some old school fun.

Where's the party


Message for Upgrade
Ye shoulda lemme put ta salt on me little helpers, Shoehorn.

::waves a leather bag a salt in front a the starin' barb's face. Sittin' down, next to the glubin' man, she makes a note a where little leech bodies now be stickin' ta the floor an' wall. Not that leeches were all that hard ta find, but she tried not ta waste, so's she'd never want::

I, umm.. I figured yer brain were swelled, noo... not cause a anythin' ya've said - cause ya were sleepin' fer so long. I guess me leeches worked! Here ya be, wide awake - well, yer not sleepin', and not droolin', well...

::fumblin' around in a herb bag, a handful a leaves are taken out, chewed well, mushed about in her fingers til a nice paste be formed, an' spread on the bruise on Shoehorn's face::

If the leaves fall inta yer stew later, after they dry, they make a nice spice. Waste not, want not, as me ma always told me!

::smiles at the bleeding, drool-coated, leafy paste smeared staring barb::


Inactive Members
<touches fingers to bruises on his face as Lilly coats it in the weird paste. His scattered thoughts slowly begin to pull together to form concrete ones, and the Barb's lips finally utter something sensible>

"I um.. erm.. how long was I out?" <inanely sticks fingers in paste and makes some fanciful markings on Lilly's face with it, thinking this some kind of friendship ritual>

"Did that.. hmm, oriental girl stop by again? What was it.. Asianlady? ladycakes? umm.. I can't quite.." <rubs head, then notices another ache>

"ugg, my back" <twists torso around and some crackling is heard> "I guess next time a soft bed would be a wiser choice huh?"

<watches Lilly for a few moments, enjoying her pleasant company before speaking again>

"You know, seems everytime you come in the room I'm falling unconscious. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had some kind of spell over me" <chuckles>

<rubs one last bit of paste over her cheekbone, then stops> "Wa-la, I'm done. Now do I get to see what work of art you've made of my face?"


Message for Upgrade
If yer gonna spread the paste around, put it where I need a bit a tender lovin' care, barb.

::a blistered foot was offered fer inspection::

Me carts been sittin' outsider yer tavern fer a good day an' a night an' a day now. Thats about as long as its sat outside anywhere near as I can remember, an' I remember everything. The rest a the realm is gonna ferget about Lilly an' her Love at first Whiff promises. I be a business woman, an' peddlin' petals is my business. Do ya have my slippers done?

::a nicely paste smeared foot is laid in a warm lap::

An' I dunno how, but yer bruise seems ta be the man in the moon. The green paste jus' adds to it, I 'spose. OH! That jogged me memory. Green cheese, man in the moon, bad smells. Yer adventure with stinky plants. Did ya know yer son is up on yer roof?


Inactive Members
<looks down at the foot in my lap> "Well, I'm sure I don't need to rub any more goop on there, looks colorful enough. But yes, your slippers..."

<sets Lilly's foot down carefully, walks to the backroom and returns with the pair, gleaming brightly in the morning light, and sets them in front of her>

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I wouldn't want to be the cause of any further loss to this business of yours..."

"Whats that?" <rubs his head as she talks, eyes squinting as he tries to follow along with what comes out of her mouth>

"Green Cheese? Moon? Stinky? .. oh yeah stinky plants.. yes.. hmm.. sun on the roof? Yes, I suppose that'd be true , it being daylight and all. Can I get you a cup of erm, coffee.. or whatever it is these blasted medieval types drink in the mornin"

<goes to kitchen and warms somethin up, returning with a mug full>

"If you need to run, you can take this with you. Just remember, you are welcome here anytime" <hands her the drink>


Message for Upgrade
I dunno if ye can handle another blow, Shoehorn. We've spent much a our time tagether repairing wounds ta flesh and sole, an I don' wanna be the one ta make ya feel more looney than ya already surely do. But...

::leanin' forward, thorn pricked fingers flecked with green herb paste, gently holds his face still while she speaks veeeeery slowly an' clearly::

Yer MAN CHILD be on yer roof. The acorn from yer mighty oak. The seed a yer loins. The glimmer in yer eye turned solid. The result a playin' hide the sausage fer a bit too long. Stork bait. Do ya ken what I'm tellin' ya?
Yer SON is on yer roof.

::leanin' close enough ta press warm lips against his ear, she explained in soft whispers the exact process he musta gone through ta get the result on the roof. She added a couple different starts and middle bits ta the step by step outlines, but the end surely had ta be the same, even if he were a most creative beserker indeed.::

So ya see... ya musta spread yer lustre a bit too deep.

::she pulled back and listened to his haltin' words::

Oh, so ya DO know how it all happened. I didn't need ta go inta such detail? Well, assumin' is me least favorite thing. Better I cover ya fully, than not nearly enough. Don't ya agree?

Ye've got yer son ta deal with, and I've got me petals ta pluck an' peddle. I feel most welcome here, an' when I've earned enough in a day ta pay fer my room an' board, an' if I haven't ventured too far out ta make it back afore the muties start roaming I'd surely love ta spend me down time here.

::slippin' her feet inta her slippers, she did a lil' soft shoe shuffle, an' exited ta the left, right on out the door, wavin' ta the blinkin' barb, an' promisin' ta bring him a treat should she run inta something she figured he'd like.::


Inactive Members
<surprised and slightly offended by Lilly’s frank and all-too graphic manner of detailing the workings of intercourse and childbirth>

“I’m more than perfectly aware of what it takes, miss!”

<turns away from Lilly >
“Had I and Grit experienced the joys of childbirth, I’m sure I would have treasured it for the wonderful thing it is”

<sighs, tracing the lines of the wall with his eyes>
“But, she never bore children during her living years, bless her soul. The closest thing I have now to family is that.. <points at BOM>… blasted machine over there. And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t reproduce!”

“Sneakers? I know the name yes. I will deal with him. Go on about your peddlin.”

<sits down at the bar as Lilly rolls her cart off, and rests his head in his hands>

“Dreams… cursed dreams. Leave me be.”