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*Inside a dank and dimly lit dungeon, Liz'rd, Bones, Bob and Glindy lay inside a prison cell, starting to recover from their long night of drinking. They lay upon the hard cold stone floor looking out through bars into a dark hall. Glindy gets up after a while and throws some sparkly colored dust all over the cell*

[Glindy] "there, there, there. wonderful, see? Its now pretty and cozy too"

[Liz'rd] "Sssssit down crazzzzy witcccccch"

[Glindy] "No no, you see I'm a good witch, cheery not crazy! I must make things better, make them right"

[Liz'rd] "ssssstart by taking a sssssssssseat"

[Glindy] "You! You, wicked creature, are RUDE.. And I dont know why you're here in Oz. But things will work out right they will, the wizard will see to that!"

[Bones] "Why must you insist you're a good witch. I grow annoyed at that phrase. You have yet to cast any spells, b...witch. And right now would be a quite appropriate time for one."

[Glindy] "Huh! You cut my wand in half, brutish creature!"

[Bones] "Looked to me like a toy stick with a star on. Use your hands to conjure instead, as the so called 'wicked' witch did"

[Glindy] "I.. I can't"

[Liz'rd] "Sssshe claimsssss sssshe'sss a GOOD witccccch, but sssseemssss sssshe'sss usssselesssss"

*Bones wipes Liz'rds spit off his cloak, and backs away from him*

[Bones] "Disgusting"

[Glindy] "Oh ohh this is not right. The story is all botched, I'm stuck with vile, rude creatures in the wickedest of witch's dungeons! And Dorothy, oh sweet Dorothy where are you"

*Bones spots Bob on the floor and nudges him*

[Bones] "Quite a night hey?"

*Liz'rd chuckles, looking at the zombie who happens to be wearing a red dress and a cowboy hat, with rope strung around wood pieces nailed into limbs that are pointing out in every direction from his torso and upper body*

[Liz'rd] "ssssuposssse we ssssshould have worked on him while ssssssssober? hehehe"

*Bob gives them both a cranky look, then turns and stares at a wall*

[Bones] "Worry not, good friend. We will fix you up properly next time. I'm not quite sure how to get your limbs functioning though"

*The creak of a heavy door swinging on rusty hinges breaks the chatter, and a set of footsteps follows behind it. The green witch walks down the corridor of jail cells and stops in front of the group*

[Elphy] "ahahahaha, you my pretties were so easy to catch! And even you Glindy the 'GOOD'!"

[Glindy] "You won't get away with this, the wizard will come for us!"

[Elphy] "Have you not forgotten, lovely... charming...SICKENINGLY graceful Glindy? He is nothing but tricks and foolery, just the same as you! A sham, a lie. ahahahahaa"

[Glindy] "Let us OUT, you wicked thing!"

[Elphy] "Well well well, let me think here. You and these sick creatures kill my sister, then desecrate her remains, and steal the magic shoes I made for her, and you expect me to let you go unpunished?!? Why yes, yes I shall.. I shall set you all free.. INTO A BOILING PIT OF LAVA,.YOU SICK @#$J @#$~#! FREAKS!!"

[Glindy] "You bi...uh. witch! Humph! How dare you talk to me like that"

[Elphy] "ahaha Glindy the GOOD glindy the sweet, soon to be Glindy the overcooked MEAT!"

*Glindy's jaw drops, then she gives Elphy a look of contempt. Liz'rd chuckles*
[Liz'rd] "you go girl hehehe"

[Elphy] "shut your trap foul beast, you too will be cooked all the same"

[Liz'rd] "jussssssst try it"

*the witch takes out her wand and holds it threateningly*

[Bones] "HOLD IT! Listen.. Elphy.. the 'wicked'. This sister of yours, we meant her no harm. The legs.. well, think of them as a charitable contribution.. *gestures towards the malformed zombie on the floor*. She had no further use of them, and Bob was in need of a pair. So there you have it. A graceful gesture of good will." *he smiles the best a skeleton can smile*

Extreme Makeover - BobZombie edition - part TWO:

[Elphy] *disgusted by Bones remarks* "Aaarghhh, sickening cruel beasts!!" *she twirls her arms then strikes out with her wand. A bolt of fierce blue and white lightning leaps forward towards Bones, but the skeleton dodges quickly, and the jagged bolt instead strikes poor Bob with its full force. The zombie convulses as the electric current pulses through his body and surges through all his limbs. The witch retracts the wand and makes a most wicked smile*

[Elphy] "Like a rag doll ahahahaa. Most amusing. Tell me now, what reason would you have to keep this.. PET.. of yours alive"

[Bones] "All creatures have the right to live, do they not."

[Elphy] "My sister had a right! You took that away!! And for what.. a rotting chunk of meat with no..."

*she stops talking as Bob begins to move. The limbs so carelessly attached to his body have now become fused to his shoulders and waist, and strangely, control of these arms and legs has become his own. He stumbles up to his feet, holding himself up with two.. no, three arms.. and looks around, while sparks still jump randomly from the metal nails protruding from his flesh*

[Bob] "'allo mate, g'day m'lady, cherio good chap. Was ist los, Que pasaaaaa!!!"

*The group looks at him in shock*

[Bones] "Bob, you can speak!?"

[Bob] "Sie senor, konichiwa!"

*The group watches dumbfounded*

[Bob] "sweet mother of pearl, what a beautiful woman!" *he stumbles towards Glindy, still learning how to walk on these new legs, one of which is turned in the opposite direction* "helloo sweet cheeks, what say you and me play a game of spank the monk.." *just then another nail in his skin sparks blue and white for a second, and then fades out with a yellow sizzle. He begins speaking another language* "je ta'ime, mi amore.."

[Bones] "Hmm.. Electricity! That's what was missing!"

[Liz'rd] "missssing, massster?"

[Bones] "Don't you rememer the tales?! The beast composed of dead body parts who was subjected to a jolt of lightning?! Look at Bob.. Why. he. .it..." *he raises his arms up in the air and exclaims* ITTSSS ALLLLLIIIIIIVVVVEEEE!!!!"

[Liz'rd] "hrm.. bossss you've losssst me"

[Bones] "I now rechristen him FrankenBob!!"

[Elphy] "Enough! This grows more twisted by the minute. Glindy, where's this Dorothy girl, why did she not come.. who are these creatures!?"

*just then a metal bucket slams into the back of Elphy's head and knocks her to the ground. Boo materializes behind her and smiles at the crew.*

[Boo] "Miss me? No noo.. dont get all emotional, you know how I get when you guys gush over me.."

[Bones] "Ha-HAH! Good to see you Bob. Now get us out of here, will ya."

[Bob] "Guten tag herr Boo"

*Boo stares blankly at the zombie who just greeted him in a foreign language*

[Bones] "Boo! Get us out!"

[Boo] "uh.. right.. say did he just say something in German?"

[Liz'rd] "bosss ssssayssss he'ssss now FrankenBob"

[Boo] "riiight. Well you must explain this to me.. but first... for my next trick..!!"

*Boo disappears and the sound of his footsteps running down the hall, followed by footsteps running back are heard. A ring full of keys comes floating to the cell the group is trapped in and unlocks the door*

[Boo] *materializing again* "Ta-DA! thank you, thank you.. please, no applause.."

*Bones opens the cell then drags the green witch and pulls her inside, leaning her against a wall. He then grabs the keys and exits the cell with Liz'rd and Bob. Glindy follows but is stopped at the entrance by Bones' skeletal hand*

[Glindy] "Oh but you must let me out!!"

[Bones] "I'm not so sure. How can you help us? If what the witch said is true, then you have no magic and are of no use to us"

[Glindy] "But I can get you out of here! I know who you need to talk to!!"

[Bones] "Fine. Just bother us no more with your mindless rhetoric and revolting good cheer"

[Glindy] "No more I swear!"

*the gate to the cell is closed and locked. Boo, noticing how parched the green witch looks, slides a bucket of water inside the cell, which unfortunately hits a stone and tips over. Him and the others then make their way quickly out of the dungeon. A few moments into their escape some screaming is heard from below and the faintest of cries follows the group up the stairs...' what a worllldd. what a wo...' *

*They find their way to the main floor and break up to explore the various rooms. Bones finds the broom in a closet and carries it out with him to the front of the castle. Glindy comes upon a crystal globe in one room and looks inside of it, a bright smile immediately washing over her face. Inside the ball she looks upon the image of a young girl - Dorothy.. who happens to be skipping about calling for her dog Toto in a strange land. Liz'rd and Bob wander the corridors together while involved in serious conversation.*

[Boo] "Well that's just silly. That's like introducing two friends. Hello, this is Frank, oh, and Bob!. No no that doesn't sound right at all. Bobenstein.. now THAT sounds good"

[Liz'rd] "ssstupid ghossst! Makessss no sssensse. Bob a sssstein? He'sssss no mug of ale"

*The two walk together out to the grand entrance of the castle where Bones is waiting*

[Boo] "Well I don't like FrankenBob, its just idioti...uh... hey massster!"

*Bones looks down at Boo condescendingly*

[Bones] "It's FrankenBob and thats what it will be called henceforth! Now, blast this broom I still don't know what makes it work!"

[Boo] "Oh.. oh I know sir! Just order it where to go! Elphy did that this morning and it spirited her away!"

[Bones] "hmm.. *he mounts the broom to test it out*.. to the cemetery!!"

*the broom whisks him out the door and off to the cemetery. He barks another command and is swiftly carried back inside the castle again*

[Bones] "Men, we finally have our ride!"

[Glindy] "Wait!!"
*the witch runs out to them and asks for their help with Dorothy*

[Bones] "Sorry, we have no need of your 'help' now"

[Glindy] "But look!" *she shows them the globe which still shows the small girl is running around. The volcano in the background is an all too familiar sight to them*

[Bones] "Ahh Yserbius.. foolish child! Its still dangerous there even in these days"

[Glindy] "Yuh what? That's not Oz! nor is it Kansas, oh dear.. things cant get much worse! Please please tell me, what ever is this place you speak of? I must know, I must! Things have to be made right! Tell me, for the little girl.. please"

[Bones] "We should have taken a right at that giant tree in the swamp, blast it. *sigh* This 'Yserbius' if you must know, is a volcano... a very dangerous volcano located in a land called Twinion, a town just.. well just South of this here happy witchland of yours"

[Glindy] "Please, before you go back to your home, fly me to see the Wizard! The wonderful wonderful wizard, oh, he shall know how to set things straight"

[Bones] *shaking his head* "IF you promise not to bother us ever again.. *sigh*.. I will take you there. But then I shall leave this dreaded land never to come back!"

[Glindy] "oh, wonderful! oh thank you, yes yes you really are doing the right thing, I was wrong about you, I was. Its such a pleasant thing to learn that looks are not all that matters" *she tosses her hair over her shoulder* "Good exists in even the most disgusting of creatures!"

[Liz'rd] "ssssssspeak for yourssssselff witccccch hehhe"

*Bob happily finds his way back to the others, sporting a goofy crooked smile*

[Bob] "Devo visitare la stanza da bagno"

[Boo] "ANOTHER language now!?"

[Liz'rd] "whatssss with the ccchangesssss??"

[Bones] *rubs jawbone in thought* "Its quite like he has a multiple personality disorder. A number of distinct personas that..." *he cuts off as a thought springs to his mind* "Hey Boo, just how many different heads did you extract grey matter from last night?"

[Boo] "Must have been at least thirty different people, sir. why do you as-... Ohhhh!" *slaps himself in the head*

[Liz'rd] *snickering* "you are who you eat hehehe"

[Bones] "Hah! Right... Apparently Bob is now a kaleidoscope of consciousness. An army of people in one, how unconventional!!"

[Bob] "yo big Vinny lez go and do off Fitziani, he's got sumthin comin to HIM tonight, heh!"

*Bob chuckles in his typical mindless zombie fashion, amused at his own changes. The witch Elphy had done more than just bring to life a compilation of human body parts attached to him, she had also brought this spectrum of personalities from last nights delicacies to life. Whether or not Bob had control over these characters inside of him would remain a mystery to others. But the irregular discharge of electricity from nails in his flesh seemed to influence these changes of personality*

*Bones and crew all somehow manage to mount the wicked witch's broom and reluctantly travel to the Embrio city to drop off annoying Glindy the 'GOOD' witch*

(to be continued.. in the final chapter of The wonderful Minions in Oz!)


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The End of the Road

*The group, balancing precariously on the witch Elphy's broom, pass over the remainder of the creepy forest, making their way now over grassy plains and finally catching site of the sickeningly beautiful green towers of Embrio ahead, its brilliant green structures towering high into a rich blue sky. A glorious rainbow leaps across the landscape behind it. Barf bags are handed out*

*Liz'rd looks behind at Boo, who's riding on the bristles*

[Liz'rd] "Sssstupid ghossst. You can fly without thisssss broom"
*Boo smiles and winks*

[Liz'rd] "sssshould have given me a cccchancccce to desssstroy that witccch too!"
[Boo] "Why's that?"
[Liz'rd] "I wisssshed for a ccchallenggge, not a pussshover!"
[Boo] "haha. right, one swap to the head and - BANG! - out like a light! am I good or what baby!"
*they both snicker*
[Liz'rd] "ssstill, I could have torn her apart with my bare clawssss"

[Glindy] "No no no, no more of that talk. Cant you see, its wonderful! She's gone, and we're going to see the Wizard!"

*A discharge of electricity from a loose nail in Bob's chest prompts another change. He leans to Glindy's shoulder and whispers in her ear*
[Bob] "look look! zee wonderful zity of gay pahree!! Ahh za zity of loverzz! we zhall danz in ze canals and make love like wild anchovieeez!"

[Glindy] "Yuck, get off heehee. Somebody put a leash on him!"

*A fair way into the Embrio city, which is now myseteriously abandoned, Bones lands and everyone dismounts the broom, except Bob who simply falls off with a plop*

[Glindy] "Yes, yes here it is, the Wizar'ds palace. Isn't it glorious?!"
*She walks just inside the entrance*

[Bones] "Whatever. Enjoy" *he begins to prepare for his journey back*
[Glindy] "Wait! The Wizard.. he would like to see you I'm sure! And for what you have done for our kingdom, well he most certainly should have gifrts and rewards for you, the heroes who saved us all!"

[Liz'rd] "Giftssss! Liz'rd lovesss giftssss! and.. and hisssss precccioussssss"
[Boo] "Precious?"
[Liz'rd] "My preccciousssss!!! ssssomeonessss tookss it from me!! they didssss!! massster betrayed mee!"
*Liz'rd snickers while the others look at him. He points to Bob*
[Liz'rd] "he sssstarted it hehehe"

[Bones] "If there are gifts awaiting us, we won't deny them. But lets get this over with. We have an appointment to keep"

*Bob had already stumbled into the halls of the palace while the others were talking, and soon a monstrous booming voice is heard echoing through the massive structure*

[voice] "I am OZ, the great and terrible!! Who dares.. HEY!"

[Glindy] "Oh dear, I think your friend has awoken him"


*The rest of the DMY group follow Glindy as she rushes into the palace and into the throne room where Bob stands beating a giant green head with a long stick.*

[OZ] "Do NOT attempt to destroy me! You shall feel my wrath!"

*Bob shoves the stick into one of the giant head's eyes which then bursts and splinters. The head jerks back and begins to convulse as sparks of electricity leap from its eyes and down cracks in its hard surface*

[OZ] "ARRGGHHH, what have you DONE!?!!"

[Glindy] "Oh pleease, Oz don't be mad. He's just a dumb zombie!"

*Just then the booming voice goes silent and the head crashes to the floor. Everyone looks at the defeated head and then over to Bob who shrugs and smiles a goofy crooked smile. Liz'rd snickers*

[Liz'rd] "sssecond easssiessst defeat today hehehe"

*A curtain on the back wall pulls open and a small man comes rushing out*

[Oz] "Oh dear! It's ruined! Ruined!! Who did this?"

*Bob rushes over to the man and starts attacking him with the stick.*

[Oz] "Hey! Ow, hey stop!!"

[Boo] "Hah, some wizard! Even I'm a better illusionist!"

[Glindy] "Please Oz, understand.. he doesn't know what he's doing!"

[Liz'rd] *snickering* "ssssock it to him boy hehehehe"

*Bones shakes his head as Bob continues to beat on the poor man*

[Oz]: "Get off! OW! Hey!"

[Bones] "Enough! Bob, let him go. Oz, if thats your name, give us our gifts and we shall be out of this place"

*Bob stops hitting the man for a moment, then socks him once more when he again raises his head. Bones warns Bob again and he finally backs off after Liz'rd wrestles the stick away from him. Glindy rushes to Oz's side and starts tending to his wounds*

[Oz] "Oww, look what he's done! And gifts! You ask for gifts!! What nonsense! Begone you fools!"

[Glindy] "Oh, Oz.. you must understand, these creatures have saved us! Our kingdom is free at last!"

*After some bit of conversation, the wizard is filled in on the details of the little adventure the group has had, and although somewhat sickened at the morbid things talked of, Oz finally agrees that (despite the rather unorthodox means by which the 'wicked' witches were killed) the group is deserving of his kingdom's thanks*

[Oz] "Very well. I will ask each of you what you wish for, and give it to you"

[Bones] "A few plats should do it"

[Oz] "A heart? Yes, I believe I can offer you that" *Oz hands Bones a scroll*

[Bones] "What is this?!"

*Oz ignores him and goes over to Boo. Bones opens up the scroll and reads it "This certifies that Bones, who has taken pity on a poor grieving witch and taken a stray wayward thief under his wing, has a heart that beats not with blood, but with love. This certificate may also be exchanged for one free pizza at Papa Johns'.*

[Bones] "What is the meaning of this!?"

*Oz silently awaits Boo's response*

[Boo] "My wish is for an actual bod.."

[Oz] "Courage? Yes, indeed here you are" *Oz hands Boo the scroll*

*Oz moves on to Bob as Boo opens his scroll. 'This certifies that Boo, who fled from a witch and hid from her in a tomb, but finally sought her out by his own volition now has the makings of courage. This certificate may also be exchanged for a free diet coke..*

[Boo] "Hey, I wasn't afraid of that witch! This is bull---"

[Oz] "And Bob, what is it you want"

*Bones slaps his hand to his skull knowing full well how this will work out*

*Bob pauses to consider this question long and hard. His eyes look as though they are in deep thought*
[Bob] "unghh.. buh.buhbuh..bugabuh.. b-b-b-brru...bbrrug--"

[Bones] "Oh for crying out loud, BRAINS! He wants brains! This is ridiculous!"

*Bones rips the scroll from Oz's hands and throws it at Bob. Liz'rd grabs it and reads it 'This certifies that Bob now has more brains than any and all of the other minions in this room combined. Also, this can be exchanged for a medium fries....'*

[Liz'rd] "Hey! lizzzrd hassss more brainsss than Bob!!"

*Bob looks at Liz'rd with drool dripping down his cheek*

[Liz'rd] "Dont you dare!! hehehe"

*Bob chases playfully after Liz'rd into the halls of the palace. Boo storms off mumbling something under his breath about courage. Bones is left in the throne room*

[Bones] "This is all you can offer us? Scrolls?!"

[Oz] "Ahh, but its the wisdom contained within that is far richer than any treasure you could ever lay hand upon!"

[Bones] "Great. Another cheap bastard. I should have Trephine loot this place and find the true wealth within it."

[Oz] "hmpf!"

[Glindy] "Ohh, Oz.. we must do something about Dorothy.. and the munchkins.. what happened to the munchkins?"

*Glindy shows Oz the crystal ball. They both look into it and see Dorothy still wandering about the lands of Twinion. Oz, recognizing this ball from somewhere, commands it to show him the munchkins. A moment later the image in the ball blurs and then a new image refocuses within it. The inside of a poorly lit office building extending hundreds of feet in every direction appears, and within this building a thousand small people are chained to desks and chairs. They all work tirelessly on some type of machines which are weaving together cloth and making shirts with written words and images upon them. On closer inspection, some of the words are readable.. 'ImagINNation is a terrible..', 'I gave free rides...', etc :p*

[Glindy] "Oh, this is terrible! They are slaving and sweating away for some ruthless corporate entity!"

[Oz] "Ozerbius! I recognize this!"

[Bones] "Its YUH-serbius, fool."

[Oz] "No no, I'm sure its Ozerbius. Or at least, thats what the creature I ran into a month ago called it"

[Bones] "What creature do you speak of"

[Oz] "Well, I'm not sure of what he was really, but his little pet called him Korthrall"

*Bones jaw drops*

[Bones] "Korthrall!?! Korthrall the wizard! Are you telling me he pronounced Yserbius as OZ-erbius?!"

[Oz] "Thats right. Quite an odd being but amusing nonetheless. He left a good week or two ago"

[Bones] "This wizard you speak of, if he misspoke the word Yserbius, then all of this makes sense. 'Oz' and all this land, it exists by his mistake! FOOL! *he rubs his foreskull with his hand* No!.. What of the creature he meant to trap within the volcano with that spell! No no.. this doesnt fare well at all!"

[Glindy] "Oh dear.. that is why everything is wrong here?! A dumb ol wizard?" *Oz scowls at her*

[Bones] "I must go. I have to return to my land and ensure things are set right."

[Glindy] "What about us? What about Dorothy, and the munchkins?!"

[Bones] "If I find Korthrall, things will be set right. You have my word. Now, I'm off!"

*Bones runs out of the chamber and finds the other members of DMY. They all scramble outside and mount the witch's broom. Without looking back, they take off into the skies and head back towards Twinion and the infamous volcano Yserbius. (thats Yserbius with a YUH ;)).*

P.S. my apologies to everyone-
I know this isn't roleplay so much as it is storytelling... but I shall return to roleplay now, I swear it!
Also, oops, I occassionaly botched up the names of Bob and Boo in previous chapters - one name popped up where the other should have.. anyway.. got confusing - but hopefully by the context of the situation it could be guessed as to which character I meant


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*drops to her knees* Marry me.

Its time for a horror story.


I LOVED IT! The whole thing. I had a smile on my face for every word. What a gift you give.


Start the damn silent auction, Slohand! Bones is gonna pen something just for me if I have anything to do with it.


Inactive Members
Marriage!? It wouldn't work out.. I'm already past dead, and the 'till death do us part' bit would pretty much botch any plans for a future. :twisted:

Another story will have to wait until Bones' and company get time. And a webpage may need to spring up in support of his wicked little guild eventually. :wink: